Going through a particularly painful breakup? You’re not alone! Here’s some things that helped me find daylight at the other end of the tunnel.
Who hasn’t gone through a super messy breakup? It’s an unfortunate fact of life but knowing that doesn’t make it any easier when you’re navigating the mixed emotions that settle in as you realize an important relationship is about to end. However, there’s ways to give yourself a boost as you attempt to move forward. And as much fun as wallowing is, more than anything we all just want to feel okay as soon as possible, right? So here’s some things that helped me when I finally said goodbye for the last time.
1) Don’t call them. Don’t message them. Don’t text them. There might come a time when the lines of communication should be reopened but for now, don’t reach out. It’s going to be a tough habit to break but talking immediately after breaking up is only inviting more pain and sorrow. If you have to delete their number, do it. It’s a safe bet someone else in your life could give it to you again one day. Right now it’s about what comes next for you.
2) Talk to someone about the breakup. It doesn’t necessarily have to be a psychologist or a counselor but talking about what went wrong is important. If you shut it out with distractions, you’re just prolonging the inevitable. Call your mom! Corner your best friend! Take a co-worker to lunch and open up about what the breakup was like for you. Don’t keep it to yourself. Verbalizing all the pain and frustration is powerful stuff. Don’t discount it.
3) Get active! Regardless of your lifestyle while in the relationship, now is the time to explore your passions! If that means hitting the gym, so bet it! But that can also mean trying something you’ve always been interested in or getting out of town for a few days. Yes, that definitely includes makeovers. The point isn’t to distract yourself. The point is to remember the big, wide world that was there before they came into your life, and is definitely still around.
4) Focus on the flaw. As a long-term solution this isn’t advisable but immediately after parting ways you need to be strong. Part of doing that is remembering why you two didn’t work out. It will help you keep your guard up and not slip into old habits. I’m not suggesting you fixate on the pain, only that you be mindful of what went wrong. You broke up for a reason. Take a look back at Hollywood’s worst breakups right here.
5) Really, truly, let them go. Okay…here’s the big, scary part. Eventually, when the time is right, say farewell to your ex one more time. I’m not suggesting you actually reach out and speak with them. I’m saying make peace with what happened. That could be writing a letter you never send or visiting their favorite spot without them. It’s an opportunity to wish them well and let go, once and for all. Or a Rihanna, 29, put it, “Just believe that the heartbreak was a gift in itself!!”
HollywoodLifers, what helped you get through your toughest breakup? Let us know!