Lamar is coming clean about his past. In a candid essay, he details the time Khloe Kardashian found him inside a motel room, snorting cocaine with another woman; His ‘darkest’ moment, where he described himself as a ‘scumbag.’
Although Lamar Odom, 37, has been candid about his drug addiction and broken marriage to Khloe Kardashian, 33, there’s still more to the story. In an emotional essay, the former NBA star explains the very moment when his marriage hit its lowest point. “One of the darkest places I’ve ever been was when I was in a motel room, getting high with this chick, and my wife (at the time) walked in,” he wrote in a letter in The Players’ Tribune, July 27. “That probably was like rock bottom. First of all I was in a motel. A motel.”
Odom continued to depict the details from that night, where he tried to rationalize what was happening. “I’m a millionaire,” he remembered thinking. “I’d made it out of Jamaica, Queens, and won two NBA titles. And I’m in a motel, with some random person, doing coke. But I just wanted to get high with this girl, and I had no other place to go. I couldn’t take her home. You know, I was being a scumbag. Nothing else I got for that. No excuses. No bullshit. That’s just the truth.”
The retired Laker, who admitted out loud [in the video, above] that he had cheated on Khloe, also confessed that “my dick and my [drug] habit took me down all the roads that you don’t ever wanna go down.” Then, he went on to recall the night, [Oct. 15, 2015], where he was found unconscious, inside a Nevada brothel. When he woke up in the hospital , after four days in a coma, “My ex-wife was there in the room with me,” he wrote. “After all the shit I had done, I was surprised to see her. Honestly, that’s when I knew that I was probably in bad shape.” Odom also confessed that when he was found inside the brothel, “at that point in my life, I was doing coke every day.” He elaborated: “Pretty much every second of free time that I had, I was doing coke. I couldn’t control it.”
When he was released from the hospital, as well as post-care rehab, Khloe cared for Odom. At the time, the former couple were in the midst of a divorce, which Khloe ended up putting on hold to care for him. The pair eventually went through with the divorce, having completed the legal docs in Dec. 2016.
After his daughter, Destiny, 18, gave him an ultimatum — get help or I’m not speaking to you — Odom attended rehab, and got his act together. Now, he says he is sober, although it’s an “everyday struggle” to live with his addiction. “I want to get high right now,” he confessed. “But I know that I can’t if I want to be here for my children.”
In the end, Odom realizes the consequences of his actions, and the fact that he was knocking at death’s door. “I shook hands with death. But you know what? Ain’t no coming back from that. Even though my funeral would probably be a good funeral, and there’d probably be a lot of people who hadn’t seen each other in a long time. But it ain’t time for that yet.”
HollywoodLifers, let us know your thoughts about Lamar’s essay in the comments!