‘Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets’ is a beautiful mess, according to most critics. We’ve gathered some of the most negative reviews of the new film that cost $180 million to make — and they’re pretty intense.
While the movie, starring Dane DeHaan, Cara Delevigne and Rihanna, doesn’t hit theaters until July 21, the early reviews of Valerian are in — and well, they’re rough. The film has already landed a 75% on Rotten Tomatoes, but some critics aren’t into it. Our sister publication, Variety, didn’t hate the film, naming Cara as the best part, saying she saved the film. “Valerian manages to be both cutting-edge and delightfully old-school — the kind of wild, endlessly creative thrill ride that only the director of Lucy and The Fifth Element could deliver, constructed as an episodic series of missions, scrapes and near-misses featuring a mind-blowing array of environments and stunning computer-generated alien characters,” they wrote, but did take a jab at Rihanna’s “awkward line reading.”
The Hollywood Reporter on the other hand, wasn’t thrilled — at all. “The Razzies don’t need to wait until the end of the year to anoint a winner for 2017. The Golden Turkey Awards should be republished with a new cover. Euro-trash is back, while sci-fi will need to lick its wounds for a while,” the wrote, adding, “Cara Delevingne needs to learn there is more to acting than smirking and eye-rolling. Rihanna should pretend this never happened. And the Hollywood studio chiefs can breathe easy that, this time, at least, they’ll escape blame for making a giant summer franchise picture that nobody wants to see, since this one’s a French import.”
“Yes, Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets really is that bad, bad enough that you don’t know for the longest time that Valerian is one of the lead characters and not a planet or a spaceship.” Entertainment Weekly also thought the movie was a complete disaster, calling it a “random WTF mess.” They admitted that the first half an hour was “intoxicating,” but they were unsure if it was “brilliantly bonkers or total folly.” Their sum up: “Valerian is an epic mess.”
HollywoodLifers, will you see Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets?