Finding love in the age of dating apps is hard enough, but some of you single dudes are making it much more difficult than it has to be. Don’t worry, I’ve made a list of no-no’s you need to cut from your dating profile ASAP. You’re welcome!
As a single woman looking to move her romantic life forward I’ve fallen into the black hole that is dating apps. Don’t take “black hole” as an insult, either. I’m obsessed. The swipe culture is like 24/7 speed dating that I can do while commuting to work, sitting on my couch binging Stranger Things, and even at work (sorry, Bonnie). The catch? I’ve noticed a lot of flaws on guy profiles. Things you may not even realize you’re doing wrong, too. So have no fear, I’m here to help you out and maybe get you a few more right swipes.
1.) Where The Heck Are Those Grainy Pictures Coming From?
We live in the era of the iPhone, which takes better pictures than most point-and-shoot cameras, so when I see a grainy picture it’s an instant red flag. My first thought? It’s a very old picture that does not properly represent who you are or what you look like today. Either that or you’re still snapping pictures on a 2001 T-Mobile Sidekick and, unfortunately, I just can’t get down with that. Swipe left.
2.) Those Group Pictures With Your Bros Are The Absolute Worst
Seriously, how am I supposed to know which one you are? One group picture to show a piece of your social life isn’t terrible, but if every picture on your profile is a group picture I’m instantly swiping left. This isn’t Where’s Waldo, it’s is a chance to show me who you are and you failed.
3.) Those Are Nice Pictures From Your Vacation But I Don’t Care
Believe it or not I have actually come across a ton of profiles where people post more pictures of places they’ve been than themselves. I don’t care that you’ve been to Paris or Egypt or some beautiful caribbean island I don’t know the name of. You can tell me all about your travels on a date… after you upload some pictures of yourself and I can see that you are a real person and not a travel agent bot.
4.) Please Don’t Put Your Kids On your Dating App
I don’t mind that you have kids. What bothers me is that you’re jeopardizing their safety and privacy by posting pictures of them on a dating app where thousands of strangers can see them…. as well as where you’re from, where you work, etc. The internet is a dangerous place, and while you should definitely let potential partners know that you are a package deal, maybe save the visual introductions for a first or second date. (This also works for nieces, nephews, siblings, God children, etc.)
5.) Not To Sound Like The Grammar Police But Did You Turn Off Spellcheck Or Something?
The biggest turn offs that can be found in a bio are typos. We’re grown ups. We’re looking for relationships. “Cant wait 2 meet u” is screaming at me to run for the hills. Use your spellcheck and don’t be afraid to Google words for correct spelling. Good grammar is nice, too, but we can’t have everything now, can we?
6.) Shirtless Profile Pics Are Asking For One Thing & One Thing Only
Don’t get me wrong, I love nothing more than to stare at chiseled abs and muscular bodies before swiping left because I know there’s no chance in hell. But those pictures attract only one kind of connection: hook ups. Don’t be mad when every girl you talk to is looking to get her hands on those muscles instead of diving deep into your intellect.
7.) You’re Cute But Where’s Your Bio At?
Nothing is worse than seeing a profile filled with great pictures only to find an empty bio. Not even so much as a name or a height. Who are you? What are you looking for? Do we have anything in common? What do you expect me to latch onto here? Fill out your bios, guys. We’re reading them, I promise.
8.) Why Are You Swiping Right If You’re Not Going To Answer My Message?
Swiping right on someone only to ignore their message is just plain rude. Why did you swipe right if you didn’t want to talk to this person? Why are you wasting their time? I can’t speak for every girl on dating apps but I’m a one message girl — as in if you don’t answer my first message I’m not going to send you 45 more in hopes of getting your attention. (Side note: if you are one of those people please stop immediately.)
9.) Don’t Be Afraid To Let A Girl Review Your Profile Before Going Live
You have to have at least one female in your life (not your mom) who you’re not afraid to let see your dating profile. Let your friend, sister, cousin, ex, whoever examine what you’re put up and tell you whether or not it’s a go.
10.) Last But Not Least…
You’ve got my attention for 10 seconds or less. Show me who you are. When it comes to pictures, make sure there’s at least one full body shot, one clear shot of your face (no sunglasses or hats please), and one of you doing something you absolutely love. In your bio, tell me what you like. What do you do for fun? On the weekends? Do you like to travel? Favorite TV shows? Movies? How tall are you? Where are you from? What are you looking to get out of this experience? Give girls actual context and you might be surprised at what you get in return.
Tell us, HollywoodLifers — What are some of YOUR dating app pet peeves? Got any advice to hash out that I missed? Comment below!