Kellyanne Conway’s old standup comedy routine has resurfaced, and it’s absolutely cringeworthy. Back in the ’90s, President Donald Trump’s closest adviser was running The Polling Company and competed in the “Funniest Celebrity in Washington DC” charity contest. Let’s just say she probably didn’t win. This video has to be seen to be believed!
Alternative fact: Kellyanne Conway is great at comedy. But really, President Donald Trump‘s Counselor to the White House’s standup routine from 1998 is mesmerizing in how awful it is. The 11:00 minute-long video shows the then Kelly Fitzpatrick totally bombing onstage as she makes awkward jokes about her life in Washington, her job as a TV “pundette,” and ends in a tone-deaf cabaret number. Ouch.
Kellyanne stumbles over her words, awkwardly laughing at her own jokes in a nearly silent room. If you’re not cringing at least once while watching this, you’re totally lying! She spends a long time at the beginning of the routine talking about her broken leg, turning it into a catalyst for insider jokes about DC life.
“Everyone is wondering about my leg … I’m like, well, everyone heard I was going to be in this comedy show and they said ‘Kellyanne, break a leg!’ And so I did,” she says to polite laughter, before stumbling over a couple jokes about politicians like Fred Thompson. “And you think blondes are dumb.”
She spends a great deal of time talking about “pundettes,” the nickname given to young, attractive political pundits of the time like herself and Ann Coulter. “What’s the difference between a pundette and Ally McBeal? Ally McBeal’s on a major network.” Topical! Of course, since is the ’90s, she makes a requisite joke about Bill Clinton and Monica Lewinsky, too.
The baffling routine ends with an awful cabaret number that Kellyanne wrote herself, called “The Pundette Blues”. Perching on a stool and wrapped in a red feather boa, Kellyanne warbles through the song that she has to read from notes in her hand. That SNL sketch in which Kate McKinnon did a big Chicago number as Kellyanne definitely seems more like what she was going for!
HollywoodLifers, did you like any of Kellyanne’s jokes? Tell us in the comments!