How can you really tell if a ‘summer romance’ will be short lived or for the long haul? HollywoodLife.com can EXCLUSIVELY fill you in on how to spot the status of your love life with our insider advice from relationship expert and psychologist, Dr. Les Parrott!
Summer romances can be tricky, but lucky for you, HollywoodLife.com has the EXCLUSIVE details on how to identify your future in the love lane. Dr. Les Parrott filled us in on all things summer flings, and we’re going to tell you just how to spot if it’s the real thing.
Whether it’s just a go-with-the-flow type of romance, or an all or nothing deal, the summer is one of the hardest times to predict your impending courtship. Some look to summer flings for “an alternative to commitment,” while others “wear their heart on their sleeve,” (kind of like Taylor Swift and Tom Hiddleston), says Psychologist Dr. Les Parrott, an expert in all things relationships, and a #1 New York Times Bestselling Author of Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts.
First things first, Dr. Parrott says a relationship “is the real thing when two people bring emotional intimacy into the relationship,” and start to care about common interests. It’s a “willful” thing, meaning you are consciously making the decision to want to know about this person more than just the surface area. A fling, on the other hand, is “a state of passion — It’s what makes you feel.” A fling is something that’s all about the “right now.” and “there is no talk about the future.” Flings almost act as a temporary fix.
How to spot the difference between a fling and the real thing? The expert tell us “its all about the attitude.” Whether it is face-to-face, a call, text, Snapchat, Tweet, Instagram, Facebook, (you name it), “it’s not as much how it’s it’s delivered, but how it’s expressed.” The author means, it’s how your partner or person of interest expresses their feelings, as opposed to the platform (social media, etc.) they choose to send it on.
A fling is careless and effortless, with no “impression management” being done. On the contrary of what you may believe, dates are more or less, just “hangouts,” and there isn’t much structure put into them. And, sorry guys, but with a fling there is little chance you’re meeting the family. In a fling, “there is not as much of a pleaser attitude, you’re not trying to win anyone’s approval. You’re always protecting yourself, careful not to wear your heart on your sleeve.”
The real thing is known when there are two people that are extremely self aware, focusing on their happiness just as much as their significant others. “You should be able to know in two structured dates or less, whether someone is worth pursuing,” Dr. Parrott interestingly reveals. He says this is even more effective when you make what he calls a list of “deal makers and deal breakers,” so you have a sense of what you’re looking for.
Basically guys, Dr. Parrott says flings involve no “wooing,” (LOL) and we can all probably relate to that term. So, if you’re trying to identify if it’s the real thing, just analyze the tips above, and maybe ask yourself, “is there any ‘wooing’ happening here?” Just as a disclaimer to all of you fling lovers out there, Dr. Parrott does warn, “don’t be surprised when you do feel empty inside after a while.” He says this because in the long run, flings usually do have an ending since they are just a “trade off for immediate fun instead of longterm fulfillment.
SO, HollywoodLifers, is it just a summer fling or is it the real thing? We want to hear from YOU guys! Tell us what you think in the comments below!