Ever wonder what Taylor Swift’s #squad did to make her feel better after her sudden breakup with Calvin Harris? Or how Taylor consoled Selena Gomez after each Bieber heartbreak? How do you find the right words to help a friend who’s hurting?
A friend crushed after a brutal breakup is one of the toughest things to witness. As much as you want to go and egg the house of the person who broke her heart, it’s more important to be there for your friend, even if you’re just passing her tissues and eating all of her ice cream.
First, let me start off by saying we have all been there after a breakup, and it’s not cute.
When downing pints of Ben & Jerry’s, boxed wine, sitting in our ex’s burnout tee (that we keep smelling and are obvi never giving back because it’s so comfy) and lying across a huge box of tissues start to become acceptable, it’s time to take a day for some serious backup and heavy leaning.
No, I don’t mean leaning on that Häagen-Dazs frozen cake that’s about to melt! I mean real quality time with a friend and someone to lean on.
We all wish we could listen to that little voice in our heads to make the pain go away, but hey, we are basically on a downward spiral into break-up land where shopping can’t even make us happy anymore and things are just ew.
Being the friend who lifts people out of this emotional roller coaster, on the other hand, is also a really tough role in its own way. No one wants to see his or her bestie acting like a damsel in distress.
If you’re that crying shoulder for someone right now, here is some advice you can give your girly on how she can heal her broken heart and be back to smiling in no time!
Take time to heal.
Telling your friend to take some time to herself is an amazing idea. Alone time and allowing emotions to run wild is extremely healthy in the healing process. Your body needs to react to the shock and disappointment you are feeling in order to move on, personally and with another person.
People always have their own opinions on this. My parents would say, “Get back out there!”, and I would say something like, “Um, no, I am literally having my Reese Witherspoon in ‘Legally Blonde’ chocolate box moment, thank you.”
Let your friend know there is no time limit on healing, she can and should take as much time as she needs to get back on her feet and you will be right there by her side through it all.
Everything will be OK.
Make sure to let your friend know this too shall pass. Sometimes, the simplest words can bring people the most peace.
How much time has your friend lived without this man? She can do it again! Life goes on, and she will be happy again!
My friends always told me, “You’ll be laughing about this in a couple months!”, and they were always right.
Don’t reach out.
Obviously, every breakup is different and each one ends in a different way, but if this is a bad breakup your friend is dealing with, beg her to not reach out to him! He needs to learn what he is missing on his own, and he WILL be back. He always is!
Continuing to reach out will delay her healing process and mess with her head, especially if her ex doesn’t text her back, etc…
Know your worth.
During breakups, girls can get scary dark and start questioning their self-worth! Do not let your BFF go down this road!
Let her know how special she is, regardless of her pain and self-loathing. She will snap out of it eventually, and she will never stop thanking you for keeping her confidence in check!
Rejection is fate’s way of saying “wrong direction.”
Getting to the bottom of a breakup is so hard because sometimes there are so many unanswered questions that we may never get the satisfaction of knowing. Help your friend be OK with not knowing and just moving on! There is no point in continuing to think about the what-ifs. What is meant to be will certainly be!
Now, let’s go change your hair color and buy you a new outfit! We are going out tonight!