John Oliver did NOT hold back during his Feb. 28 show! The ‘Last Week Tonight’ host has kept pretty tight-lipped on his feelings about Donald Trump up to this point, but he completely unloaded in a 22-minute rant now that the year of the election is here. Watch the whole thing here!
Donald Trump was the topic of discussion on Last Week Tonight on Feb. 28, and John Oliver unleashed all his feelings about the presidential candidate for the first time. The talk show host went on for 22-minutes in an epic rant, during which he completely tears Trump apart. Relive the most shocking moments of the speech right here!
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1. The revelation of ‘Drumpf’
Donald is always going on about how great the ‘Trump’ name is — but according to a book by Gwenda Blair, his family actually changed their name from Drumpf years ago. “Drumpf is much less magical. It’s the sound produced when a morbidly obese pigeon flies into a window of a foreclosed Old Navy,” John jokes. “It’s the sound of a bottle of store-brand root beer falling off the shelf in a gas station minimart. And it may seem weird to bring up his ancestral name, but to quote Donald Trump, he “should be proud of his heritage” — back to that Stewart tweet — because Drumpf is much more reflective of who he actually is.”
John really didn’t want to let this joke go, though. “So if you are thinking of voting for Donald Trump, the charismatic guy promising to make America great again, stop and take a moment to imagine how you would feel if you just met a guy named Donald Drumpf,” he adds. “A litigious, serial liar with a string of broken business ventures and the support of a former Klan laeder who he can’t decide whether or not to condemn. Would you think he would make a good president — or is the spell somewhat broken?”
2. The breakdown of his finances
Donald has continuously bragged about how he’s funding his presidential campaign, but there’s a bit of a catch. “White it’s true that he hasn’t taken corporate money, the implication that he has personally spent $20-25 million is a bit of a stretch, because what he has actually done is loaned his own campaign $17.5 million, and has personally given just $250,000,” John explains. “And that’s important because up until the convention, he can pay himself back for the loan with campaign funds.” He also points out that Donald has two ‘donate’ buttons on his website — which is kind of weird if he’s funding it all himself, right?
3. Slamming his policies
“It’s time to stop thinking of the mascot and start thinking of the man, because a candidate for president needs a coherent set of policies,” John rants. “Whatever you think about Marco Rubio and Ted Cruz, at least you basically know where they stand, but Trump’s opinions have been wildly inconsistent. He’s been pro-choice and pro-life, for and against assault weapon bans, in favor of both bringing Syrian refugees and deporting them out of the country, and that inconsistency has been troubling.” After showing a clip of Trump, he adds, “This is the frontrunner for the Republican nomination advocating a war crime. And he might say he was joking or he’s changed his mind about any of these things, and private individuals are allowed to change their minds — we all do it — but when he’s sworn in as president on Jan. 20, 2017, on that day, his opinions are going to matter. And you will remember that date, because it’s the one that time travelers from the future will come back to try and stop the whole thing from happening.”
4. Comparing him to a gold Sharpie
During the rant, John explains how Donald was once called a “short-fingered vulgarian” by a magazine, and that the editor of that magazine still receives letters from Donald with photos of himself with the fingers circled to prove how long they are. “They very fact taht he’s so sensitive about [his fingers] is absolutely hilarious, as is the fact that those notes were apparently written in gold Sharpie, whihc is so quintessentially Donald Trump: something that gives the passing appearance of wealth, but is really just a cheap tool.”
5. Comparing him to a back mole
And probably the most epic quote of all: “At this point, Donald Trump is America’s back mole: It may have seemed harmless a year ago, but now that it’s gotten frighteningly bigger, it’s no longer wise to ignore it.” LOL!
HollywoodLifers, what did you think of John’s rant against Donald? Was it hilarious…or far too overdone?