‘Bachelor in Paradise’ started with the intros — you know, to remind us of who the heck these men and women are. Some we’ve already loved: Jade, Ashley I., and Jared, while some . . . are not so familiar. So, let’s just say, it’s going to get interesting.
Here’s the first things we learned from the season premiere of Bachelor In Paradise: Ashley I., 27, has a sister, Lauren I., who is 24, and who Ashley explains as “the slut version” of her. And yes, she brought her along to the island. And Jillian now will need an extra black box for her new “enhancements.”
First to arrive was Jade and Jared, and they had chemistry right away. However, it was day one and there was, a lot of people. There was Jillian, and the return of her black box — yes, she showed up in a bikini. JJ, who wasn’t exactly welcomed with open arms. And Ashley S. surprised everyone with “normal she seemed.” However, the mutual decision was that Jade and Jared were everyone’s favorites. Oh, and Clare Crawley showed up at the very end. (You can see the whole cast list here.)
As for the sisters, Chris Harrison explained they’re basically a package deal: if one gets a rose, the other stays too. It doesn’t seem so fair to the other girls, but the guys (especially Jonathan) seem more than okay with it. But first, let’s get to some romance.
It’s Wedding Day
In the middle of paradise, Chris decided to hold a wedding — for Lacy Faddoul and Marcus Grodd, who fell in love last season on Bachelor in Paradise and he proposed at the end. I can only assume that Jillian wishes she wore a dress over that bikini, especially since both the bride and groom’s families attended as well. Also, Juelia caught the bouquet, which was pretty perfect.
The perfect didn’t last long — after crying at the wedding, Ashley’s sister was the first to break down. She told her sister she didn’t like anyone and wanted to go home, oh and that everyone was too old. So she went to bed, while Ashley went to try and hit on Jared — the only guy she was attracted to. She sat in silence for hours before finally being able to talk (about Disney princesses), and then felt really good about their conversation. So good that she was heartbroken when he went off to walk the beach with Jade.
And The Date Card Goes To
The first date card went to Ashley I. who had the least amount of confidence we’ve ever seen in someone and barely could even ask Jared to come on the date. However, she somehow did and he agreed, and they rode a dune buggy into the jungle then to a beach. It was absolutely adorable. However, the next card went to Jade — who everyone wanted.
She ended up choosing Tanner for their dinner, then a dip in the water — which they weren’t dressed right for. They ended up going in in their underwear.
The episode ended with Clare arriving, and saying she wanted to meet three guys: Jared, who was off with Ashley I., Kirk who was off with Carley, and Tanner who was making out with Jade.
Here’s The Kiss Count
Carly and Kirk hit it off right off the bat, and he was definitely hesitant, so she ended up leaning in for the kiss. And then they went to bed together, so . . .
Jade and Tanner kissed at dinner, then went into the water and made out some more.
Notable Quotes (Yes, Mostly By Ashley)
“I’m pretty much the opposite of a virgin.” – Lauren
“I make out with them” . . . “And I finish them.” – A Ashley I. and her sister, on what happens when they share guys
“Make it a little more Ariana.” – Lauren to Ashley on her hair (accurate)
“I’m into his personality, I’m into his temperate and I’m into his face.” – Ashley I. on Jared
If Jared ends up being my Aladdin, he can rub the sh-t outta my lamp.” – Ashley I. on Jared
Who do you think is the best match on week one, HollywoodLifers?
— Emily Longeretta