Bill Hudson, you must have been hurting pretty badly after your son, Oliver, publicly dissed you on Father’s Day. But that’s still no reason to end your relationship with your children. No parent should ever do that.
Bill Hudson, are you already regretting that you gave an interview on June 28, in which you announced that your children, Kate and Oliver Hudson, “are no longer a part of my life”? I bet you are. That’s because you lashed out at your offspring with Goldie Hawn after son Oliver, 38, and a star of Nashville, posted a Father’s Day Instagram captioned: “Happy Abandonment Day…@katehudson”.
Kate, 36, followed up on her brother’s sentiment by also taking to Instagram to post a photo of herself with her “stepfather” Kurt Russell, captioned: “Pa, just simply….. Thank you 🙏 Happy Fathers Day I love you to the moon and back. ✨ #HappyFathersDay”.
Bill, you were deeply hurt by this public dissing of your role as Oliver and Kate’s dad. You said so yourself in the same Daily Mail interview. “He is dead to me now,” you said about Oliver. “I would ask them to stop using the Hudson name. They are no longer a part of my life.”
You called Oliver’s Instagram “a malicious, vicious, premeditated act” and added that you are “still mourning their loss even though they are still walking this earth”. It appears from interviews that you have given over the years and from your 2011 book titled Two Versions: The Other Side of Fame and Family, that you have been mourning the loss of your two eldest, ( you have 3 other children with different parners) for years. You believe that Goldie, who you were married to from 1976-1980, poisoned Oliver and Kate against you.
“I believe the drip, drip, drip of poison which started when they were kids finally took hold. Goldie, 69, wanted to create this myth of a perfect family with Kurt [Russell] and she wanted me out,” you have said. Well, Bill, you can’t take yourself “out” of being Oliver and Kate’s father. Even if Oliver is furious with you and believes you have abandoned he and Kate, you shouldn’t abdicate from trying to be their father.
Bill Hudson: If You Love Your Children, Don’t Disown Them
“No father should ever give up on seeing their children,” insists Dr. Jeff Gardere, assistant professor of behavioral medicine at Touro College of Osteopathic Medicine. “The role of a father is to always be the leader, to be a role model and to keep his head above the fray. No parent, no matter how they feel, should say, ‘I’m saying goodbye to my children’.” Bill, you’ve claimed many times that you tried for years, when your children were growing up, to see them frequently. You’ve said that you actually did see them a lot at times.
I don’t know — nor does the rest of the world know — what went on or what went wrong between you and Goldie. I don’t know how much you saw or even tried to see Oliver and Kate, 36, and maybe they don’t fully know, either. But I do know that if you love your children — and from the hurt you’re expressing, you do — then you should not “disown” them or think of them as “dead”.
“He must be hurting badly because he has been replaced [as a father to Kate and Oliver] by Kurt Russell,” believes relationship expert and psychotherapist Dr. Gilda Carle of drgilda.com.
However, Dr. Carle points out that Oliver and Kate must be in pain, too. “The fact that their father is foremost in their minds shows that they’re hurting,” she says. She thinks that for Oliver, the hurt is deeper than ever: “When he looks in the mirror, he’s hurt because he sees a father that abandoned him, otherwise he would not have struck out.”
Dr. Gardere points out that the opposite of love is not hate: “It’s simply not caring. It’s being disaffected.”
Bill Hudson: Reach Out To Your Children And Make Amends
“If Bill Hudson’s son didn’t feel anything for him, he wouldn’t have said a word. To do something so public and embarrassing to his father, and his whole family, it’s a sign,” insists Dr. Gardere. Bill, Dr. Carle agrees, that Oliver still has feelings for you, his dad, and she advises you not to let them go to waste. “Someone who wants to walk away doesn’t make an announcement,” she advises. “They just walk away.”
Of course, that insight can also apply to you, Bill. If you truly wanted your children to be dead to you, you wouldn’t care. You wouldn’t give an interview to express your frustration and sorrow. Bill, don’t give up. No matter what bad blood has come between you, while you are still alive, you can try and mend the fences with your children. You are 65. There is still time to repair your relationship.
Reach back out to Oliver and Kate. Try to get them to go to therapy with you. They are angry with you because they feel abandoned and they’re deeply upset because part of them still wants you as a dad. As great as Kurt Russell has been as their “Pa”, they still want you, too. “It’s visceral for many children to want to know their biological parent,” adds Dr. Gardere. So Bill, reach out and apologize for your words. Don’t let Oliver’s Instagram be a wedge. Look at it as a way to reopen your relationship.
Do you agree, HollywoodLifers — should Bill Hudson NOT disown Oliver and Kate, and instead try to rebuild his role as their father? Let me know.
— Bonnie Fuller