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Spider-Man Needs To Be White & Straight, Say Newly-Leaked Sony Emails

Fri, June 19, 2015 10:56pm EDT by 10 Comments

Peter Parker has two very important prerequisites — according to newly released emails from the infamous Sony hack. New leaked corporate messages appear to show that execs from the company made it a mandatory requirement that Spider-Man be white and straight.

A lot of jaw-dropping bombshells came out of all those leaked Sony emails in 2014. The latest revelation? A licensing agreement between Sony Pictures Entertainment and Marvel Entertainment was allegedly disclosed in a major document leak by the website Wikileaks, and it reveals some pretty harsh rules for Peter Parker and his beloved, arachnid alter ego, Spider-Man. Yep, it includes requirements for his race and sexual orientation. Read on for all the shocking details!

According to the agreement, it is “mandatory” that Spider-Man must be: male; does not torture; does not kill in defense of self or others; does not use foul language beyond PG-13; dose not smoke tobacco; does not sell/distribute illegal drugs; does not abuse alcohol; does not have sex before the age of 16; does not have sex with anyone below the age of 16; and is not a homosexual.”

There are also “traits” that Peter Parker must “conform” to. Those “traits” include: his full name is Peter Benjamin Parker; he is Caucasian and heterosexual; his parents become absent from his life during his childhood; from the time his parents become absent he is raised by Aunt May and Uncle Ben in New York City; he gains his powers while attending either middle school or college; he gains his powers from being bitten by a spider; he designs his first red and blue costume; the black costume is a symbiote and not designed by him; he is raised in a middle class household in Queens, New York; he attends or attended high school in Queens, New York; and he attends or attended college in New York City.

Aside from this shortened roster, the most specific and close-minded qualifications are obviously that the superhero is “not a homosexual and Caucasian.” Wow — why put Spidey in a box, Sony?

The most ironic part of all this? The contract between Marvel and Sony began in September 2011, just months after a black-Latino Spider-Man was first introduced to the comic book world. Next, diehard fans of the saga actually started a social media campaign to get black actor Donald Glover, 31, cast in the last Spider-Man flicks — which ended up starring Andrew Garfield, 31.

Donald, who lent his voice as Miles Morales in the Disney XD cartoon, Spider-Man: Web Warriors, was loved so much by fans of the series that they even created this hashtag: #donald4spiderman. Well, now fans know why their voices were unheard. #SMH.

HollywoodLifers — what do YOU think? Should there be “mandatory traits” to be Spider-Man? Sound off below in the comments!

— Evan Real

Follow @evanreal