Things got real intense on ‘The Bachelorette’ — physically intense. That’s right, this week the men were actually pitted against each other and forced to box for Kaitlyn’s rose. And that was just one of three dates.
So it’s official — Kaitlyn Bristowe is ready to meet Mr. Right, and it needs to be someone who will (1) fight for her and (2) make her laugh. The first group dates were pretty different, even for The Bachelorette, but it did include swinging. Oddly enough, it left Kaitlyn ready to swing herself!
Fighting For Love
Naturally, it was time for dates so the first was a standard prove-you-love-a-girl date: boxing for Kaitlyn, Laila Ali, and Chris Harrison — naturally fitting judges.
Round one results: Ben Z. beat Daniel; Corey beat Justin (who left with a black eye); Kupah beat Tanner; Jared beat Ben H. Round two results: Ben Z. beat Corey; Jared beat Kupah. Championship: Ben Z. beat Jared (and sent him to the hospital). Naturally since he won, Ben Z. got the group rose date — because what better way to know a guy is interested in you than to fight a bunch of men?
The one-on-one went to Clint (the one who drew Chris Harrison on a dinosaur) and they headed to do a fancy underwater photo shoot, and then they had three levels of kissing: “underwater Clint, above water Clint, rooftop Clint.” Snooze.
Standing Up For Love
The second group date was a stand-up comedy competition with the help of Amy Schumer. First Kaitlyn admitted that she had kissed every single guy… and then she took a swing at Chris Soules when Amy made a joke, asking her to imagine herself driving a tractor. “Yeah I’m pretty excited to be here” was her answer. Anyways, once it got down to the comedy prep, the best part was Amy laying down the law to JJ, who basically felt too cool for school.
“You’re not smarter than anybody here,” Amy said. I loved it. Seriously though dude. Once it came time for the men to do some stand up, it was actually pleasantly funny! Tony fell a bit flat, but he got some awkward laughs. I was more annoyed that it gave JJ more leverage. Ugh. He ended up getting the group date rose — I’m sure Amy didn’t agree, and neither did I.
It’s Not Hard To Say Goodbye
When it came time for the cocktail hour, the rest of the men jumped on the JJ’s-an-ass train. During the hour, the guys agreed that the few that didn’t get that chance to connect with her should talk to her first. However, JJ didn’t agree and stole her away right away. Ew. After getting the group rose date, he became (even more) cocky and smuggish (his words) and pretty much became hated, beyond belief to show he was “husband” material. Such an awesome husband, dude.
However, Kaitlyn didn’t seem to mind him — it was Kupah who she got into an argument with. He thought she wasn’t interested, she thought he wasn’t interested, blah blah blah and then it turned into a “why are you keeping me here?” talk. He basically he dug his own grave by going back to the guys while she thought about their talk and running his mouth — loud enough for her to hear. So, she stormed in, grabbed him and told him he was done there.
His argument: “I don’t want to go home. I think you’re hot. I think you’re sexy.” Yes, really. With that, he was sent packing to freak out on the camera guy. And, to be continued…
Here’s What We Learned Tonight
– Britt (who once again looked stunning while crying) called her mom to tell her she was coming home — and then Brady knocked on her door. What great timing, ABC. Naturally him and his leggings impressed her and now they’re eating ice cream together, living happily ever after. They had spent every day together since, but somehow only had one outfit each. Also, she’s now his “girl.” So yes, Britt got the happy ending without having to do all this.
– Tony knows love: love is about connection, love is about discussion, and ideas and dreams. He was really worried through the entire episode that he was the only one there for the real thing. Unfortunately, he called Kaitlyn Britt at one point. He also said: “I’m not here for her, I’m here for us. My heart means just as much to me, as her love does to me.”
Alright guys, do you think Kupah deserved to go or stay?
— Emily Longeretta