Everyone goes through a bad breakup, and in those first few days, it can seem like the sun will never shine again. If you’re trying to get it together and mend your heart after a terrible split, look no further — we’ve got the only 5 tips you need from Tamsen Fadal, relationship expert and author of ‘The New Single’, to help you through that dark period!
If you’re reading this after a horrible breakup, congrats — you’ve already taken one step forward! That’s because you’re prepared to look for help from a pro. Tamsen Fadal is a newscaster, matchmaker and author of The New Single, available June 2 on Amazon for $15.99. Plus, she’s been through a heartbreak after her Cinderella wedding and great marriage turned into a nasty divorce after her husband allegedly cheated on her. Here are five amazing tips from Tamsen to help you survive and eventually thrive after a breakup!
How To Survive A Bad Break Up: 5 Tips To Get Over Your Broken Heart
Tip #1: Improve your mood. To immediately feel better, try a few easy tricks for a mood pick-me-up. “Do the little things,” Tamsen suggests. “Sing in your shower, walk a neighbor’s dog, change your bar of soap to something that smells fantastic — relishing the little ordinary details of life makes it all extraordinary, and you will feel more in balance instantly!” Tamsen’s other favorite fail-safe mood-improver is honoring the physical body. That means, get moving! “Kickboxing works wonders, Zumba really gets the heart rate going…jumping for joy is always good exercise, too!” Most importantly: start today, not tomorrow or next week. Pushing yourself to improve your mood will only benefit you.
Tip #2: Make a list. This is one of the biggest tasks that helped Tamsen right after her huge, painful divorce. “My list started as simple as ‘Getting up in the morning,’ because I didn’t want to get out of bed. I didn’t want to face the morning,” Tamsen reveals. The next thing on her list? Remove the obstacles. “Your home is the place to start,” Tamsen says. “From the bedroom to the living room, re-feng shui your place. Turn your couch to face a different direction. Add flowers. Get a new painting. Remove the things that may have once held meaning for the coupled you, but that are now merely obstacles in the path you’re blazing for the new you. Make room for new things — your things.” When you walk in the room and see evidence of who you really are, you’ll immediately feel better. Check!
Tip #3: Do NOT contact your ex. During the first dark days, it should be about you — not the other person. “Don’t tell yourself you can just be friends. It is too soon,” Tamsen says. That means no calling, texting or going on his Facebook page.”Write down the ‘one more thing I have to tell him.’ Then throw the piece of paper away,” Tamsen suggests. No matter what he tries to reach out about, you do not need to talk to him: your attorney or mediator can handle financial matters, and “if he ‘missed his stuff’, he would have taken it. Put it out of sight,” Tamsen says. Out of sight, out of mind! Getting your ex out of the picture will give you the time you need to focus on repairing your heart.
Tip #4: Have your own date night. Go on a “date” that’s just about you — alone. Spending “me time” is a great gift you can give yourself. For date night (or day) ideas, Tamsen suggests a yoga class, kayaking or reading a new book. “The only requirement is that it needs to be time that is all about you,” Tamsen says. “It helps you figure out who you really are and who you want to become.” Taking care of yourself by doing a new and fun activity is essential to getting over a broken heart!
Tip #5: Create a peaceful environment. In the first few weeks, it’s okay to unplug a little bit and take a break from your electronic devices when you’re just hanging out at home. “E-mails, phone calls and even the news can increase stress,” Tamsen warns. That’s doesn’t mean you should stay home alone, in the silence and dark! “Invite friends or family to enjoy a meal together and enjoy the art of good conversation,” Tamsen suggests. Making your home into a peaceful place will help relieve stress and “declutter your heart” of the past. You don’t have to swear off social media, but consider decreasing your time spent surfing on Facebook, and instead have a friend over to cook a healthy meal or chat over drinks and a cheese plate.
Your broken heart won’t heal overnight, but these tips will help you look forward and get you moving upward. The road won’t be easy, but arming yourself with this list is an excellent first move!
HollywoodLifers, we’d love to hear from you about tips that have helped after a breakup. Let us know!
— Gabriella Ginsberg