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‘The Bachelorette’ Premiere: Stripping & Butt-Grabbing & Jealousy, Oh My

Mon, May 18, 2015 11:01pm EDT by Emily Longeretta 3 Comments

Calling the season premiere of ‘The Bachelorette’ awkward, may be the biggest understatement of the century. On May 18, the crazy controversial season began — and 25 men had to choose which women they wanted to be their Bachelorette.

Hearing Kaitlyn Bristowe say right away that the show’s double layout “doesn’t sit well” with her was definitely a strange start to season 11 of The Bachelorette. However, once the men started showing up and mingling, she loosened up. But how was Britt Nilsson? Not to worry, I’ve broken down that crazy premiere — including that hot mess of a man.

I Would Love To Puck You

Bring on the puns! When the limos pulled up to the mansion this time around, they chose which woman to walk to first — of course, each girl took turns feeling unwanted which was totally a bummer to see. The editing was spot on — all the first batch pretty much wanted Britt. The turning point was when Ian, 28, stepped out, walked over to Kaitlyn, and told her that he came for her! It was followed up with JJ, 32, who brought her a hockey puck and said, “I would love to puck you.” What a perfect match for her. From there on out, all the cards were on the table, and the deck seemed to be split.

kaitlyn

Alright, here’s a few men that stuck out over the premiere:
Josh, 27, surprised the girls when he decided to get out and do a strip tease for them, which was a little awkward.
Shawn B., 28, immediately grabbed Britt’s attention, but it was Kaitlyn he came for. They later had an intimate talk too, and she was really into it, saying, “This is the closest I’ve felt to love at first sight.”
Brady, 33, seemed to be Britt’s biggest match, and he was really dedicated to getting to know her better. Hmm.
Tony, 35, made an impression on the girls, but said word for word the same thing  to each of them about looking for “real love” to both girls. However,once the choice came to choose, he was the first to vote for Kaitlyn.

The Claws Are Out

We also have to give a shout out to Kaitlyn for running into the house early to check on the men — a move Britt looked at as “cheating” and felt disrespected. Ugh, get over it girl. Don’t you watch The Bachelorette? She’s not here to make friends.

SpicyOptimisticGoldenretriever

When the girls finally entered the room, Kaitlyn started off with a joke, which Britt hated and felt that it should be more serious, so she told the room she was looking for a best friend. Some men liked one style, while others like the serious. A perfect split. Well done, ABC.

One weird thing that it I have to point out kind is that the show almost turned into “strategy” for some of the guys: should they pick the one they liked or the one that liked them? Isn’t this supposed to be about love? Ugh.

Hot Mess In The Flesh

As per usual, there was one person who drank too much on night one: Ryan M. When Shawn E. drove up in a hot tub car (AKA car pool), Shawn actually went outside and yelled, “that car sucks.”

sloppy

Once getting inside, Ryan made both Britt and Kaitlyn uncomfortable, touched Kaitlyn’s butt, and called the girls “hoes.” Then he stripped down to his underwear, got in the hot tub (then fell out). I’m also pretty sure he asks one of the guys, “Why am I not raping you right now?” I literally didn’t understand that. Luckily, Chris Harrison was over all that and sent him home right away. Bye!

Side note, Shawn E.’s profession was “an amateur sex coach” so uh . . . moving on.

With that, all the votes are in — each guy had to choose (by putting a rose in a box, of course) which girl they wanted to be the Bachelorette. And we’ll find out on Tuesday night! Who are you pulling for?

— Emily Longeretta