They’re back with a vengeance, baby! The new season of ‘The Real Housewives of New York’ is finally here, and, if this first episode is any indication, it is going to be one heck of a bumpy ride!
Good to see you, ladies! The Real Housewives of New York returned to Bravo on Apr. 7, and the premiere episode was a pretty insane sign of things to come. Bethenny Frankel is back– and her life is in shambles. Ramona Singer is on the verge of a breakdown and Sonja Morgan is being, well, Sonja Morgan. Check out our season premiere recap!
Welcome Back, Housewives
We open with– who else?– Bethenny and her pup, Cookie, walking into a hotel on Central Park South. “I’m the wealthiest homeless person in Manhattan,” she says. She then proceeds to catch us up on her life (as if we didn’t know): she’s relieved Bethenny was cancelled, her divorce is still not final, and she has a new apartment, but it’s in need of renovation, thus the Eloise-hotel lifestyle.
Next, onto Kristen Taekman. Things in Kristen’s life are really looking up! After last season’s issues with her husband, Josh, which nearly lead to divorce, it seems that she and her man have really mended their relationship and everyone seems happier, including their two young kids. Better yet, with Josh being there more for the family, mama can have more opportunities to go out, and you better believe she’s taking advantage of that.
Thankfully, about three minutes in, we get to see our first group dinner (though, as we know, little eating is involved). Carole Radziwill, Kristen and Heather Thomson are first to arrive, and Carole explains that she’s on a new diet: “I only eat cucumbers, vodka and butter.” Sounds healthy to us! LuAnn de Lesseps arrives next, and was caught a little off guard by Heather’s tongue-heavy kiss. Normal.
LuAnn has also moved into a new house in the Hamptons and, per Housewife tradition, is planning a big blowout. On the guest list? Sonja, despite the fact that the two are not in a great place. “She hasn’t been a real friend to me,” LuAnn says. “I really want to help Sonja because I feel like she has problems.”
Before the dinner wraps, the conversation turns to Carole and her use of the dating app Tinder: “Until I meet the man of my dreams, I’m keeping my Tinder account.” No judgment from us, Radzi!
Bethenny & LuAnn Bond
Back at Hotel de Bethenny, the busy lady is panicking due to a pants-related incident. In the midst of the chaos, LuAnn drops by to fill in her former-turned-current friend about her past few years. The two bond (and enjoy a midday cocktail) over their failed relationships. Oh, and obviously they manage to squeeze in some smack talking about Sonja.
On the other side of town, Ramona and Sonja meet for a lunch, where Ramona explains to her friend for the first time what’s really going on with her marriage. “After being with Mario for 25 years, we’re not together,” Ramona says. “Inside it feels like my world is falling apart,” she adds. Of course, Sonja wastes no time circling the conversation back to herself, and Ramona is pissed.
“I can’t believe it– she’s making it all about her!” Ramona says. Honestly, after this long, Sonja’s self-centeredness is hardly surprising, but in this instance it is a little baffling, even for her. I mean she literally starts to break down every event of her life since 2005, all the while Ramona seems prepared to rip out her throat.
Before she can do so, Ramona smartly changes the subject to LuAnn’s party. Should Sonja go? She is feeling, and I quote, “trepidatious” about attending– a word I point out just because I’m so proud of her for accurately using it. Sonja says that the last time she saw the ladies, she felt ganged up on, and she tells Ramona she needs her to have her back.
“I’m not gonna get involved,” Ramona says. Yeah, we’ll see about that.
A bit downtown, Carole meets with the editor of her upcoming book, The Widow’s Guide to Sex & Dating. Turns out, Radzi has been skirting her editor, avoiding her calls to boot. “I was supposed to turn in 80,000 words six months ago, and right now, I have a table of contents,” she says. What Carole doesn’t understand, though, is that when she misses a deadline, it becomes a legal issue. “A contract is a contract,” her editor has to explain. Uh, how many books has she written? Her editor puts her on a strict deadline to get her going again.
Back uptown, Ramona pays Dorinda a visit. They too delve into Ramona’s failed relationship, and Ramona begins to cry talking about how unhelpful Sonja was to her at lunch. Ultimately, Dorinda gives her the attention she was looking for and makes her feel much better about everything. Who needs ya, Sonja?
We stay at Dorinda’s and meet her daughter, Hannah, who’s living with her following her stepdad’s death. Um, I want to say this delicately: I hate Hannah. She is spoiled, spoiled, spoiled, and even Dorinda thinks she needs to stop shopping and get a job. I can’t with Hannah. Just… moving on.
At Chateau de Sonja, Sonja is surrounded by her usual crop of interns (seriously, how has there not been a civil lawsuit from any of these kids yet? I mean they are, point blank, unpaid assistants). She hits the balcony for a much needed facial and, of course, Sonja takes the opportunity to talk about the rest of the girls with her facialist.
Elsewhere on the Upper East Side, Dorinda pays a visit to her new boyfriend, John, who is a tailor for the wealthy. “It’d be hard for me to break up with John because I love my dry cleaning,” she says. If ever there was a reason to stay together.
On a rainy day, Bethenny goes for a drive with her realtor who’s helping her to find a new office space. “I get aroused when I negotiate,” the realtor says. Noted. They get back in the car, and Bethenny basically has a full blown breakdown. She explains that she might want to have another baby, “but I don’t even have an apartment, I don’t have anywhere to live for the daughter that I do have… I want a new life,” she sobs.
And that does it for the season premiere!
What did you guys think? Is Sonja being as self centered as Ramona thinks she is? Are you glad to see Bethenny back in action? And, finally, do you dislike Hannah as much as I do? Tell us!
— Casey Mink