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‘Tommy Boy’ Turns 20: 10 Quotes We Continue To Laugh At From Classic Comedy

Tue, March 31, 2015 11:55am EDT by Add first Comment
image courtesy of Paramount Pictures

Ready to feel old? The classic comedy ‘Tommy Boy’ is turning 20 years old today. We know. To celebrate the milestone, let’s relive some of the film’s best moments!

Laugh to keep from crying! It’s hard to believe (okay, impossible to believe) that Tommy Boy turns 20 years old today. The timeless comedy, which stars Saturday Night Live legends David Spade and the late great Chris Farley came out back in 1995, yet the jokes are just as funny today as the day we first heard them. Let’s look back at some of the lines that still make us LOL like it’s the mid 90s all over again!

‘Tommy Boy’ 20th Anniversary

Let’s break down some of Tommy Boy‘s best lines, character by character, shall we?

Obviously, we start with Tommy (Chris):

“I can get a good look at a T-bone by sticking my head up a bull’s ass, but I’d rather take a butcher’s word for it.”

[To a toddler]: “Him too fwaid to get out, he’s just a wittle guy.”

“Oh, that’s gonna leave a mark!”

“You better pray to the god of skinny punks that this wind doesn’t pick up, ’cause I’ll come over there, and jam an oar up your ass.”

“Some of us are leaving, and that is sad, but this isn’t the end. No way. We’re gonna show this world a thing or two. We’re going to show…” [Tommy passes out onto a table and smashes it to bits].

Next up, Richard (David), of course:

[As he watches Tommy eat french fries] “Ugh, I can actually hear you getting fatter.”

“Ok, folks, the guy in front of you is Tommy, he’s gonna be taking you through my little spiel here. Tommy is a Scorpio, he likes biking and he’s never been laid.”

“And what about seat belts? To fasten, take the little end and stick it in the big end and, you know what? If you guys don’t know how to use a seatbelt, just ring your call button and Tommy will come back there and hit you on the head with a tack hammer because you’re a retard.”

“My fellow nerds and I will retire to the nerdery with our calculators.”

“Housekeeping, you want me fluff pillow?”

Of course, this is just the tip of the iceberg and there are more funny moments than we can even count!

What are some of your favorite Tommy Boy lines?

— Casey Mink