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‘The Royals’ Premiere: Sex, Lies & Deception In The Palace

Sun, March 15, 2015 11:01pm EDT by Emily Longeretta 3 Comments

Royalty isn’t always so sweet — but it’s definitely sexy and scandalous. On the series premiere of E!’s new series, ‘The Royals,’ created by the genius behind ‘One Tree Hill,’ Mark Schwahn, we find out that in the palace, nothing is as it seems.

In the opening scene of The Royals, we meet the Queen of England, Helena (Elizabeth Hurley), and her rebellious kids: Prince Liam (William Moseley) and twin sister, Princess Eleanor (Alexandra Park). However, the kids’ wild ways get put on the back burner after a major death in the family.

Liam & The ‘Commoner’

After a night of partying in Paris, Eleanor’s privates were plastered on the cover of tabloids, and Liam brought home a strange woman — but King Simon (Vincent Regan) and Queen had more important things to worry about: her oldest son, Robert, had died in the military.

The queen won’t allow herself to publicly grieve; she’d rather spend her time getting in everyone else’s business — like who her son hooked up with the night before.

We quickly learn that the gorgeous woman was Ophelia (Merritt Patterson) — and her father Ted (Oliver Milburn), is the royal head of security. So yes, they both live in the same palace, but he didn’t know who she was. Needless to say, the queen thinks that she’s too “common” for him, and she prefers his ex, Gemma. (We haven’t met her yet — but oh, we will.)

The Dan Scott Of It All

Naturally, Helena goes to Ophelia and asks her to “discourage” the relationship, and in turn, she would then keep her father’s job safe. She also mocks her for not having a mother (she passed away years ago). Let me just point out, this is the moment I realized the Queen is definitely the Dan Scott of the situation here — and the King is Karen.

Luckily, Ophelia is much stronger than she looks and refuses to even curtsey to her Queen — then she shares a drink with Eleanor. It’s not surprising she stood up to the queen; we learn that when her mother passed away (in a way we don’t yet know, but it has something to do with the King), her father also stood up to the Queen when she told him he had grieved long enough! Her dad is definitely becoming a favorite quickly (I’m thinking Keith Scott here.).

The queen’s true colors show continuously through the episode — she literally tells her two children that “the good one” died. However King Simon definitely has the kind genes. He’s even considering ending the monarchy and giving up his power to keep his family safe. He realizes that he needs to make a change in order to help his kids — but his wife wants none of it.

Hello There, Blackmail

The King also has an amazing bond with his daughter — even though, let’s be honest, Eleanor is a hot mess. I’m talking smeared mascara, walk of shame, mess. But when her father’s around, he’s not ashamed: he knows the potential she has.

Unfortunately, she doesn’t. She ends up drunkenly hooking up with her hot new bodyguard, Jasper (Tom Austen). Then she tells him to get out and that he’s fired. But Jasper’s not exactly walking away — he drugged her that night, and recorded every miserable mistake she made; and she remembered nothing. So, it looks like he’ll be keeping his job after all.

Are you hooked yet, HollywoodLifers?

— Emily Longeretta