We’ve all been there—you had an amazing night full of flirty banter, good conversation, and one helluva goodnight kiss. So perfect! But then the days following your date… crickets. Finally, here’s your answer to why he went MIA!
Of course, you don’t expect to click with every guy you go out with. But it’s a serious letdown when you feel a connection with someone promising and—poof!—he disappears off the face of the earth. HollywoodLife.com spoke to real guys to get to the bottom of why you didn’t get a call (or hell, even a text) back.
Dating Dealbreakers — Why He Didn’t Call You Back
10) He’s Still Hung Up on His Ex. Sucky, but in this scenario it really does have nothing to do with you and everything to do with him. Chances are his friends pushed him into getting back into the dating pool before he’s ready and now you’re caught in crossfire of his lingering feelings for his last girlfriend.
9) You Paid More Attention to Your Phone, Than Him. As Ryan, 25, puts it: “I leave my phone in my truck if I’m on a date, whether it’s the first or fiftieth! I would appreciate mutual respect.” Remember: Instagram can wait.
8) You Didn’t Pass “The Reach Test.” Most guys still agree it’s their responsibility to pay on the first date, but they don’t want to feel like you’re just there for a free meal either. That’s why they expect you to at least offer to pay or do an obligatory wallet reach when the bill comes. “I’m drawn to a girl who is ambitious and has a good job—who doesn’t see me as an ATM,” says Kyle, 27.
7) The Timing Isn’t Right. It sounds like a cop-out (and in some cases it definitely is) but sometimes it really just boils down to the fact that you met at the right place, wrong time. Maybe he got assigned a big project at work. Maybe he’s having family issues. Whatever the reason, when guys get overwhelmed in one facet of their lives, the bait they cut tends to be someone they just started seeing.
6) You Got Wasted. A little bit of vino will help you calm your nerves and loosen up a bit—it’s a necessary evil! But drink enough to leave you slurry and stumble-y? That doesn’t quite make the greatest first impression.
5) You Didn’t Seem Interested. The first few dates are like job interviews: You’re both feeling each other out to see if things are a fit. And if he thinks you’re not into him, it’s on to a girl who is. “Dates are supposed to be fun—not feel like I’m at Thanksgiving making small talk with a cousin I haven’t seen forever,” says Aaron, 25. “You have to give me more to work with than two-word responses or it’s going to be awkward for everyone involved.”
4) You Brought Up Serious Baggage. Politics, ex-boyfriends, roommate problems—all big no-no topics when you’re first getting to know a guy. He’ll assume you’re all drama.
3) You Social-Stalked Too Hard. A little Facebook-creeping ahead of time isn’t a bad thing. It’s research! Make one to many nods to his Likes list or accidentally bring up his dog he hasn’t mentioned, though, and his Stage-5 clinger alert will go into overdrive.
2) He Just Wasn’t That Into You. Harsh, but there isn’t a whole book dedicated to the concept for nothing. It can be an ego blow to know that a guy wasn’t feeling you for whatever incomprehensible reason, especially when you felt like things were going well. “I can always tell if a girl is a good match for me based on the rhythm in our conversation,” says Michael, 27. “It’s more than being polite and friendly; the conversation is fluid, like we’ve been friends forever.” Just remind yourself this: You’re better off finding someone you connect with from the get-go, not some guy you have to fake it around 24/7.
1) You Slept With Him. There’s no magical date number in which it’s the right time to go home with a guy. So if your gut tells you to go back to his apartment and well, you know, go for it! It can sometimes be a wonderful step in a new relationship, but be very wary. As Dennis, 26, warns, once some guys “land the eagle,” they lose interest. WTF, but true. Just know if that’s the case, you dodged a bullet. You don’t want to date a disrespectful jerk anyway.
What do YOU think, HollywoodLifers? Do you share some of these reasons for not calling a guy back? Let us know your thoughts below!