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Hello Kitty Shocker: Beloved Sanrio Character Is Not A Cat

Thu, August 28, 2014 8:40pm EDT by 4 Comments
Hello Kitty Not A Cat
John Sciulli/Entertainment/Getty

Hello Kitty turns 40 this year, and in a shocking turn of events, a new interview reveals that she is NOT actually a cat! What?

If you thought that the ears, whiskers and button nose were a pretty dead giveaway of Hello Kitty‘s species — not to mention her name — you’d be wrong. In a new interview which is blowing the internet’s collective mind, it turns out that Hello Kitty is not, in fact, a cat, but “a cartoon character. She is a little girl.”

Hello Kitty Not A Cat: Company Says Beloved Sanrio Character Is No Feline

If Hello Kitty is a little girl, that little girl needs to get herself to the hospital immediately.

In an interview with the Los Angeles TimesChristine R. Yano, author of Pink Globalization: Hello Kitty’s Trek Across the Pacific, reveals that she was firmly corrected by Sanrio when she called Hello Kitty a cat in her exhibit for the Japanese American National Museum.

“Hello Kitty is not a cat. She’s a cartoon character. She is a little girl. She is a friend. But she is not a cat. She’s never depicted on all fours. She walks and sits like a two-legged creature. She does have a pet cat of her own, however, and it’s called Charmmy Kitty.”

Hello Kitty’s Full Name Is ‘Kitty White’; Bye To Our Childhoods

We had always thought that Charmmy Kitty was a different kind of cat, but clearly our childhoods have been utterly destroyed.

And touché on the walking-on-two-legs thing, Sanrio, but what is Mickey Mouse if not a mouse? And what of beloved pet Pluto, a dog, as is Goofy? Does this mean that Pluto is an indentured slave/pet, if not a different kind of dog?

Christine has raised a whole lot of highly important questions that our minds simply cannot handle.

Oh, and Kitty’s first name is not “Hello” — it’s “Kitty.” Her full name is “Kitty White,” daughter of George and Mary White. She also has a twin sister and is a “perpetual third-grader.”

Say what you want, Sanrio, but Hello Kitty is a cat and we will simply not hear otherwise. Are you with us, HollywoodLifers?

— Amanda Michelle Steiner

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