Drake Brags About Getting Girls In New Video — Will RiRi Be Jelly?

Wed, June 11, 2014 4:38pm EDT by 18 Comments

In a new video, ‘SNL’ cast member Vanessa Bayer advises that Drake join JDate in order to get girls; he assures her that won’t be necessary. Watch the hilarious video!

In the newest installment of “Sound Advice” starring Saturday Night Live cast member Vanessa Bayer as her character, media coach Janessa Slater, she decides to give Drake some hilariously awful advice on rapping and on the ladies — both of which, Drake assures her, he does not need. Click to watch the video and tell us — should Drake just accept Janessa’s cousin Amy’s tips on how to set up a great JDate profile?

Drake On JDate? — Brags About Girls In New ‘Sound Advice’

“Have you ever considered JDate?” Janessa asked. Drake hedged, “Probably not a good idea for me, I’m more of a private person, and I don’t really have any trouble…” he trailed off, clearly bragging about the girls that fall at his feet.

However, now that Drake has split from Rihanna, maybe he shouldn’t scoff at Janessa’s tips! “My cousin Amy met her husband on JDate,” Janessa offered, “and I could like, call her and get some good tips for you on setting up a great profile page. You don’t want people to just see the photo, and go like, ‘Oh look, hot black Jewish guy, but like… is he stable? Does he make a good living? Would he be a good father?'”

These are all very important tips, Drake.

Drake Should Change His Name To ‘Graham Cracka’

Janessa also advised that Drake consider changing his name to something “a little more hip hop/rap,” like “Graham Cracka,” or “Drake Time — like break time? Y’all know what time it is? It’s Drake Time!” If it’s wrong to love the idea of Drake changing his name to “Graham Cracka,” we don’t want to be right.

Check out the video! It’s pretty hilarious. Janessa also makes fun of Drake’s “YOLO” catchphrase, mix tapes, his “team” and more!

So, HollywoodLifers, what do you think? Should Drake get over his split from Rihanna by signing up for JDate? Let us know!

– Amanda Michelle Steiner

More Drake News:

  1. Chris Brown & Drake Both At ‘Maxim’ Hot 100 Party — What Happened?
  2. Mac Miller: Why I Dissed Drake On ‘Faces’ Mixtape
  3. Rihanna & Drake Split After Blowout Fight

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PRETTY PISCES RULE!

Posted at 10:03 AM on June 17, 2014  

@Molly you’re right it’s not about Chris Brown nor Rhianna this
time, it’s about Drake insecurities this time around. If Rhianna
wanted Chris she would be all over him. Rhianna is chilling
with her cousins new baby girl, working and watching t.v. Drake
F**KED UP!!!!! and now that she’s ended the relationship by not
talking to him. He sends a message through Melissa to forget
about his face, his number and not to call her hurt and crying
about being lonely. AFTER SHE WENT ON THE DATE WITH
CHRIS MARTIN SMH, Drake is in his feelings right now, because
she’s not paying him any attention nor answering his phone calls,
BUT she has time to go out on a date with Chris Martin and sit
at the window smiling enjoying herself. Which I know was
all staged by Rhianna LOL!!!!! he ran back to Zoe dry thirsty looking
azz, and Rhianna step out with someone totally different then
him and Chris Brown a grown azz man and Drake is salty and in his
feelings right now. What he told Melissa to tell Rhianna is something
I would tell my man when I’m hurt and upset, but don’t mean it. Just
hurt and upset, and Rhianna still probably hasn’t called him Drake
keeps doing things to get Rhianna jealous and her attention, and
she’s not buying into it this time. Before she was upset about Zoe
on the tour bus, and Drake dropped Zoe like a bad habit and went
back to Rhianna, this time Rhianna went out on a dinner date, to
her favorite restaurant and sat by the window, with a man that
finds her intoxicating, beautiful and down to earth. Even Gwyneth
Paltrow wants to reconcile her marriage now ROFLMBO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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PRETTY PISCES RULE!

Posted at 1:14 PM on June 16, 2014  

@doughnut what kind of meltdown would Drake have?

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doughnut

Posted at 2:22 PM on June 16, 2014  

There could be two meltdowns: he was in love or infatuated and she put his hopes down too fast or his pride is hurt. Some men don’t fall in love. They are just full of themselves and want woment to be them but i don’t think this is the case.

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PRETTY PISCES RULE!

Posted at 7:00 PM on June 14, 2014  

Why would the article say Drake told Melissa to tell Rhianna
to forget his face, forget his number and not to call him
crying about being lonely. Why tell Melissa that, why not
just tell Rhianna that? And the article said he gave her his
whole heart and he felt like she stomped on it? What’s up
with that?

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doughnut

Posted at 11:29 PM on June 14, 2014  

He doesn’t want to meet rihanna. He might be having a meltdown and thinks that it is best to leave things at that and have no communication with rihanna in the moment for now. The other thing could be that Jay z got in between them and made them break up. Again, these are my ideas but I heard Jay Z has been telling rihanna to dress appropriately and to not have any contact with drake or cb. Who knows if jay z banned drake from talking to rihanna. Anything could happen in the corrupt music industry.

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ann barb

Posted at 12:29 PM on June 14, 2014  

PLEASE! IS THIS A JOKE RIHANNA! CARES, HELL-NO BYE!

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Molly

Posted at 11:44 AM on June 13, 2014  

People if it were about texting Chris it would have came out by now and Drake woulda dissed her on IG or twitter, it’s not about Chris so stop it. They just parted ways, different schedules, etc.

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ann barb

Posted at 12:30 PM on June 14, 2014  

MOLLY? THEY WERE NEVER TOGETHER ITS PUBLICITY STUNT? BYE.

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Diana

Posted at 9:26 AM on June 13, 2014  

I ain’t gonna lie, it’s going to look weird seeing them both with other people down the line. I can’t see them getting back they gave it a try and it didn’t work but I don’t think it was because of Chris. I feel it’s because they both thought they loved each other but while they were together realized their feelings shifted, actually I think it was Drake that broke Rih’s heart. I think Rih was committed this time and he wasn’t like everyone thought he’d be. Fact is when he was in love with her in the past he wasn’t “as big” as he is now, now he’s got the world at his feet and can get another superstar and doesn’t need Rih anymore. He’s playing his cards and will meet someone big in the industry in the next couple of years, for right now he’s with his hoes and thots and that’s just fine with him. He can get it without committing to anyone and that’s the way he likes it right now. Guys can do that but Rih didn’t want that.

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Anon

Posted at 9:09 AM on June 13, 2014  

Didn’t everything go downhill when he flew those loose girls Shay and Melissa from Houston to Toronto around Eastertime. Before that they were good and they went on a date the night before, then the next week he’s in Toronto with those thots. That was the final straw in the camel. Rihanna had her share of cheating guys Drake wasn’t going to be another one so she ended it.

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________________

Posted at 9:04 AM on June 13, 2014  

Rihanna did not contact Chris, that’s bull. Drake was not ready for a committed relationship that’s why they broke it off. Rihanna was 110% into the relationship he thought he was but push comes to shove he wanted his thots on the side. Well a committed relationship doesn’t work that way and RIh broke it off before going any further. She is not getting back with him anymore, but from the looks of things Drake has moved on and he’ll find plenty of hoes to screw that’s no problem. He doesn’t know what he wants deep down. The boy is young like Chris just getting started in the girl area, he thought he wanted stability but doesn’t. They all say the same thing that they are looking for a good girl, then when they have one they don’t know how to act. pathetic.

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PRETTY PISCES RULE!

Posted at 10:17 PM on June 12, 2014  

@Claudia I have no idea, they said he told Melissa to tell
Rhianna not to call, forget his face, don’t come crying about
being lonely and he wanted to marry her. They said she being
Rhianna said she wasn’t going to be controlled and he didn’t
want he to see Chris after he got out of jail. But I think she’s
over Chris and maybe Drake is the one whose insecure, and
keep bringing up Chris, because he lost her to Chris before.
Who knows Claudia.

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sugarcoat

Posted at 1:45 AM on June 13, 2014  

What happened was that he caught rihanna texting or sexting chris while he was in jail. Not sure what it was, but as any normal boyfriend, he didn’t like it and they got into a hot argument. He ended things for that very reason. She told him she didn’t let anyone control him so he said fine, then this is over for good. Now she’s been sending him smoke signals so he spoke to Melissa and told her to tell rihanna to definitely forget all about him. She only took him when she is crying about being sad or lonely. He said that was enough and that he’s had it.

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claudia

Posted at 8:17 PM on June 12, 2014  

Someone, please, clear up the mystery for us: did Rihanna dump Drake because he wasn’t spending time with her or did HE dump her because he caught her sexting Chris Brown? all we hear is that her heart is broken and his heart was stumped on. What’s the truth??

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biscuit

Posted at 1:48 AM on June 13, 2014  

The truth is that he caught her sexting chris and that was the drop that overflew the cup. He said “this is it”, I’ve had it and we’re done. This is never going to work.” I guess she took him for granted. In her ignoramus head she is still processing it. She still can’t believe he was the one who ended. Good for you drake.

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Bullsheet

Posted at 9:11 AM on June 13, 2014  

Bullsheet. There was no texting, Drake did her wrong. She had all these sad tweets about lying eyes, cheating stuff, not the person you think you are, stuff like that. He did her wrong not the other way around.

 
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Hickory

Posted at 7:34 PM on June 11, 2014  

It didn’t work with rihanna but he is not in a rush. Why do people think you have to be dating all the time? Give him a break.

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first

Posted at 5:25 PM on June 11, 2014  

D, ok then…

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