In ‘The Laws Of Gods Of Men,’ the May 11 episode of ‘Game Of Thrones’, it’s finally time for Tyrion to be tried for Joffrey’s death — as you might imagine, it escalates pretty quickly.
It’s the day of reckoning for Joffrey’s murderer in “The Laws Of Gods Of Men,” the May 11 episode of Game Of Thrones, and the trial for the falsely accused Tyrion goes as well as you might expect. Elsewhere, Stannis builds his army by a substantial degree, and Daenerys is finding that, for some reason, suddenly deciding you’re the queen of a huge city tends to ruffle feathers. Read on for the full recap!
‘Game Of Thrones’ Recap: Stannis Has Mo’ Money, Mo’ Pirate Ships
In Braavos, Stannis (Stephen Dillane) and Ser Davos (Liam Cunningham) are applying for a loan, and the Braavosi are not too interested in loaning money to a wannabe king. Davos delivers an impassioned speech about how Stannis is the rightful king and an honest man, and that the Iron Throne currently belongs to a bastard pretender, besides. The Braavosi appear to remain unimpressed.
Oh man, remember Salladhor Saan (Lucian Msamati)? He hasn’t been on the show since he rescued Davos after the Battle of the Blackwater. He’s not just a pirate, but an “excellent pirate” (his words), and he commands a fleet of mercenary ships — which Salladhor was not keen on sharing for free.
Salladhor is in a hot tub with some ladies of the night and Davos appears like, OK, let’s go. Salladhor is all, Yeah, no thanks, we’ve been over this before, but then Davos gives him a bunch of gold and suddenly Salladhor is fully on board. Guess the Iron Bank paid up!
‘Game Of Thrones’ Recap: Yara Greyjoy Goes On A Mission To Save Theon; Yara Greyjoy Almost Immediately Gives Up On Her Mission
In a voiceover, Yara Greyjoy (Gemma Whetan) reads a letter from Ramsay Snow (Iwan Rheon), which implies that Yara received Theon’s dick in a box (not apologizing for that), and that more of Theon will arrive in more boxes lest the Ironborn leave the North. Considering that we hear the voiceover while Yara is Dreadfort-bound, she’s not super interested in his threats.
Yara finds Reek (Alfie Allen) in his cage, and he’s refusing to go, denying that he’s Theon. Ramsay happens upon them and begins a bloody fight with Yara’s men, Reek biting Yara’s wrist and running back into his cage. Just as it seems like Yara’s got the upper hand, Ramsay sics his hounds on her and her men and they run off, leaving Reek behind — “my brother is dead,” Yara says. Well, that seemed a bit of a waste of time.
For not running off, Ramsay has a reward for Reek! A bath! This will probably go super well! Ramsay begins to wash him, asking him to pretend to be someone in order to take back “a castle” (Moat Cailin) which is being held by some “bad men” (Ironborn, blocking the passage to the North). “Pretend to be who?” “Theon Greyjoy,” Ramsay answers, crazy-eyed. This should be horrifying.
‘Game Of Thrones’ Recap: The People Of Meereen Are Not Thrilled By Daenerys’ Leadership
Over in Meereen, Daenerys (Emilia Clarke) is holding court for the people of Meereen, and by the way, she introduces herself to a goat herder as Daenerys Stormborn of the House of Targaryen, First Of Her Name, the Unburnt, Queen of Meereen, Queen of the Andals and the First Men, Khaleesi of the Great Grass Sea, Breaker of Chains and Mother of Dragons. That is one hell of a business card.
Anyway, the man’s goat was burnt by one of her out-of-control dragons, and she offers to pay him three times the worth of the goat. He’s thrilled, but she’ll have to borrow from the Iron Bank herself if this trend continues.
The next man comes to Daenerys upset with her for crucifying his father, one of the slavers she saw as responsible for doing the same to slave children. He insists that his father was innocent, and that she allow him to bury his father according to the traditions of Meereen instead of having him be carrion for vultures. Daenerys allows the man to bury his father, but it’s clear that Daenerys’ leadership is not going over well. Meanwhile, 212 more supplicants are waiting for Daenerys’ ear.
‘Game Of Thrones’ Recap: Jorah Is No Longer Betraying Daenerys
In King’s Landing, the small council — led by Tywin (Charles Dance) — is in session. Lord Varys (Conleth Hill) gives word of Daenerys’ progress — she’s conquering Slaver’s Bay, has an enormous army, three dragons, and Jorah Mormont and Barristan Selmy on her side. Just as a refresher, we learned in Season 1 that Jorah was actually informing the Lannisters of Daenerys’ quest to take back Westeros in return for the possibility of one day being allowed to return from exile, but we learn from Varys that Jorah is no longer providing the court with information.
Prince Oberyn (Pedro Pascal) figures out that Varys is from Lys, and tries to get him to hang in the brothels. You know, like bros do. Varys reminds Oberyn that he’s castrated, and anyway, he never had any desire for either sex even before his castration — as he casts his eye at the Iron Throne nearby, we’re reminded that Varys’ ambitions are far grander than simple sexual desire and that every move he makes is in service of power.
‘Game Of Thrones’ Recap: Tyrion’s Trial Begins
“Let me guess — I’m being pardoned,” Tyrion (Peter Dinklage) sasses, as his brother Jaime (Nikolaj Coster-Waldau) fetches him from the dungeons. It’s judgment day — and Cersei has been buttering up the judges. Tywin, Mace Tyrell, and Oberyn are to decide Tyrion’s fate.
In Tyrion’s quest to clean up King’s Landing, he made a fair bit of enemies who are now happily testifying against him. Meryn Trant busts him for calling Joffrey a “vicious idiot” (after Joffrey had Sansa whipped), and Grand Maester Pycelle reveals that ingredients from his stores which make the strangler — the poison by which Joffrey was murdered — have disappeared at Tyrion’s hands.
Cersei is a similarly unreliable witness, and Varys tells the court of a time Tyrion threatened Joffrey after he called him a monter. Said Tyrion at the time to Joffrey: “Perhaps you should speak to me more softly, then. Monsters are dangerous and, just now, kings are dying like flies.”
‘Game Of Thrones’ Recap: Jaime Begs for Tyrion’s life
During a recess, Jaime begs Tywin for Tyrion’s life to be spared. Tywin is fairly unmoved until Jaime offers to produce heirs and his father agrees pretty immediately. Once Tyrion’s inevitable guilty plea is handed down, Tyrion is to ask for mercy, and Tywin will grant it, allowing his son to be sent to the Wall. In return, Jaime must hang up his white cloak and produce a litter of blond-haired Lannisters — presumably, preferably mothered by a woman not in the Lannister family line.
‘Game Of Thrones’ Recap: Shae Is Called To The Witness Stand
The next witness called to stand is Shae (Sibel Kekilli), Tyrion’s lover, who was supposed to have been sent to Pentos. She claims that Tyrion is guilty and that he planned it all with his wife, Sansa. He hated Joffrey, Tywin, and everybody around him and so he stole the poison from Pycelle’s chambers and killed Joffrey dead.
Oberyn asks her how she knows all this, and she says that she was Tyrion’s whore. Not girlfriend, not lover — whore. She goes on to say that she was stolen by Tyrion despite her having been attached to a knight in the Lannister army. This is going south fast.
Tyrion is looking at the floor, utterly humiliated and ashamed. “Shae, please don’t,” he says. “I am your whore — remember?” Yeah — remember that time Tyrion insisted that Shae leave King’s Landing because a Lannister spy spotted her leaving his chambers and she was in danger? And how he offered to put her up in Pentos with servants and everything she could ever need? So, the question must be asked — how much are the Lannisters paying her? Is it Cersei, or her and Tywin both?
‘Game Of Thrones’ Recap: Tyrion Confesses — To Being A Dwarf
Thoroughly fed up, “I wish to confess,” Tyrion says. Turning to the court, he continues, with venom, “I saved you — I saved this city and all of your worthless lives. I should have let Stannis kill you all.” He confesses not to the crime of killing Joffrey, but for being a dwarf, for which Tywin has been punishing him his whole life.
“I wish I was the monster you think I am. I wish I had enough poison for the whole pack of you.” Tyrion knows he’ll get no fair trial here, and demands a trial by combat — to let the gods decide. This worked out pretty well for Tyrion the last time, in the Vale, when Catelyn held him prisoner and Bronn fought on his behalf. Think he’ll be so lucky a second time?
What did you think of “The Laws Of Gods And Men,” HollywoodLifers? Will Stannis ever get the throne? Is Daenerys’ hold over Meereen shaky? And will Tyrion win the trial by combat, or is he just straight up doomed either way? Vote above and comment below!
— Amanda Michelle Steiner