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‘True Tori’ Recap: Dean Admits He’s A ‘Small D**k Piece of Sh*t’

Wed, May 7, 2014 12:14am EDT by Elizabeth Wagmeister 19 Comments

If ‘Tori & Dean’ has proven one thing, it’s that the couple shares everything with the cameras. This week, Tori and Dean sit in therapy and those oh-so-infamous scenes where Dean complains about their sex life come to play.

Dean McDermott is going through a serious rough patch in the May 6 episode of True Tori. After writing a letter to Tori Spelling and coming clean about his cheating scandal, he feels no self-worth, admits to drug and alcohol use, disses his manhood and breaks down!

Tori Reveals Her Personal Dean-Inspired Tattoos

Sitting on her brown couch, Tori starts off sentimentally spilling her heart out, as always, talking about a very permanent subject. “When Dean and I first met and fell in love, we talked a lot about tattoos…how personal they were and how they were such an expression…it’s documented for everyone to see.” Then she lifts her blouse, revealing her shockingly thin frame, but also her heartfelt tattoo: Dean’s wedding vows are scripted onto her side. “On the left side, connected to my heart,” Tori says about the vows that are tattooed onto her body. “The same vows that he broke.”

The episode begins on Saturday, April 5 at Tori’s home, as she’s getting ready for her first public event (a friend’s charity event) since her husband’s affair. Dean is home taking care of the kids.

At the event, she sees her former 90210 costar Jennie Garth, and enjoys having adult time to herself.

Tori & Dean Sit In Therapy: Dean Reveals That He’s A ‘Monster’

In this week’s therapy session, Dean admits that he was not attracted to the woman that he had an affair with. She was “just like a warm body. I felt like I was on auto-pilot.” He then says that there were “ebbs and flows” because Tori has been pregnant so often (they have four kids) and they didn’t have enough sex. He insults Tori, saying she has “complications from the last pregnancy” and our “sex life wasn’t awful, but it wasn’t stellar.”

The therapist asks if it’s okay that he has sex outside of the home, just because he is not satisfied at home. Dean says “It was an escape, just like drugs and alcohol.”

Tori says that not only did they have sex one week before he cheated on her, but he also has admitted that he was attracted to the other women, which he is now denying. Tori also busts Dean for saying that “his worst nightmare” is cheating on his wife — she questions that it’s that he caught caught. He says “I don’t know.”

Then, he admits that he’s a “monster” and he can’t believe that Tori is still with him. But then, after his sort-of apology, he complains about their sex life, saying that he and Tori didn’t have enough sex. The therapist immediately stops him right there, saying that he has unrealistic expectations for his sex life. They have four kids!

Tori Breaks Down In Therapy

He’s never going to be happy with just me,” Tori cries. Then she keeps crying and it’s heartbreaking. “I’m trying to understand where you’re coming from, but at the end of the day, it makes me feel really bad about myself,” Tori weeps. As she cries, Dean “doesn’t know what to say.”

Tori reveals that after the birth of her son, Finn, she has a problem with her intestines and she now has a bump. She is fearful that’s why Dean cheated — because the other girl is hotter. “I want to look good for you,” she cries. Dean says that he loves how she looks and it has nothing to do with the other woman’s appearances or hers.

 Dean Admits That He Feels Inadequate: “I Feel Like A Small D**k Piece of Sh*t”

Making progress in therapy, Dean admits that all of his success is thanks to Tori. Without her, he is nothing. He then reveals that when she went for him, he felt good. But deep down, he feels like a “piece of sh*t.” More specifically, he says, “I feel like a fatass, small d*ck…piece of shit.”

The therapist says that they’re both completely insecure, and they need to write each other a letter to get all of their feelings out. The shrink compliments them for making progress in their admissions.

Dean Has Guy Time With A Friend: Admits Cocaine Use & Suicidal Thoughts

Tori meets with her friends from some girl time and tells them about her therapy session.

Meanwhile, Dean is cooking with a guy friend who confronts him, asking why he did what he did. Deam admits he didn’t think he’d get caught. “I was drinking and using drugs, man,” he says. “I have a brain that wants me dead. That’s how the alcoholic mind works and thinks. You have a couple cocktails, do a couple lines…it never works out…”

Now that Dean has come clean about his drinking and cocaine use, he says that he wants to get clean so that his life gets back together. “I’m on the verge of losing everything that means anything to me in this world.”

Dean also admits that at one point, he wanted to die, and was put on a suicidal watch in a treatment center.

Finally, he tells his friend that he can’t bare to think about what he did to Tori. It hurts him.

‘How Do You Tell A 7-Year-Old That Your Dad Is A Douche Bag?’

Dean feeds his kids dinner, and comes across as a great, hands-on dad.

Then, his son finds him writing his therapy-homework letter to Tori and asks what he’s doing. “How do you tell a seven-year-old that your dad is a douche bag,” Dean asks. He contemplates if he would ever tell his kids about cheating on their mother. Would it be too hurtful?

Dean says that “This is the most hurtful thing I’ve ever done to someone who’s so undeserving of it. I’m really nervous and scared to hear Tori’s letter.”

Tori writes her letter to Dean (with her daughter’s colored pencils) and she pens that she worries that their relationship has become all about the kids once they came into the picture. She says that things didn’t have to change and become worse, but they should have evolved instead.

Tori & Dean Hang Out At Home: Dean Accuses Tori Of Being A Bad Mother

The parents hang out with their kids at home, and talk very candidly about being on a show — while being filmed on the show. Dean cooks and when Tori critiques his cooking, Dean takes offense. She jokes that out of everything that they’re covering in the show, that’s what he gets mad at?

Three of the couple’s kids are sleeping in Tori and Dean’s bed since they are used to doing so because when Dean was in rehab, the kids slept with Tori. Dean is upset because he wants to sleep in bed with his wife. Tori reprimands him for getting mad at her in front of the kids. “I’m a grown man sleeping in a single bed,” Dean complains.

“I don’t know what to say anymore because I know you’re super lenient with the kids and it doesn’t make you a good mom to give the kids everything that they want,” Dean says. Rightfully so, Tori is pissed.

“For three months, I had to manage four kids and keep everything together the best I could,” Tori says, “and it may not be what he thinks is right…but maybe in mama’s bed is where I want them and need them.”

Tori fires back at Dean for criticizing her already when he’s been back for such a short amount of time. He backs off and says that he just wants his bed back.

“We’re not connected now,” Dean says. “We haven’t been connected for the past three days.”

Um, yeah, that sounds about right.

Tori & Dean Read Their Letters To Each Other

The couple’s therapist (from earlier in the episode and series) comes to their home so that they can read their letters.

“I am so sorry for the unforgivable, irresponsible, self-indulgent, egotistical, self-seeking, arrogant behavior that took place in Toronto,” Dean’s letter reads. “I took you for granted…I hurt you so bad.”

Tori’s reaction to the letter? She’s not impressed. Dean admits that it was a “sh*tty apology.” Tori says that there’s no remorse so the therapist asks if he feels bad about what he did.

“Oh my god, yes,” Dean says.

Tori lays it on Dean, letting him know that she does not accept his apology, and shows him photos of herself with the kids at a holiday party, while he was off in Toronto cheating with her.

Dean gets a splitting headache and starts shaking, saying that he’s “disgusting” and that his actions are disgusting. He is freaking out and Tori takes his side, saying that he can’t take the pain. The therapist asks if he’s okay or if he’s going to hurt himself and tells him to show his wife that he can bounce back. “We have to stop!” Tori exclaims. And then the episode ends. To be continued…

HollywoodLifers, what do you think about Tori and Dean’s relationship? After this episode, do you feel any sympathy for Dean or do you think that he’s faking his remorse for the cameras?

— Elizabeth Wagmeister

More Tori Spelling & Dean McDermott News:

  1. Tori Spelling Revenge Cheating To ‘Humiliate’ Dean McDermott – Report
  2. Dean McDermott Admits Cheating On Tori Spelling — ‘Sex Was An Escape’
  3. Dean McDermott Returns Home To Tori Spelling After Rehab