The A-list couple announced on March 25 that they were ‘consciously uncoupling’ and now comedians and regular folk like us, can’t help themselves from making fun of the way they announced their split. HollywoodLifers, do you think it’s unfair that they’re being mocked?
Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin decided to separate but instead of issuing a statement via their publicists, they opted to post a message on Gwyn’s website goop, with the title: Unconsciously Uncoupling. Many people didn’t understand why they couldn’t just flat out say they were splitting and several comedians took to Twitter to poke fun at the elitist way it was announced.
Gwyneth Paltrow & Chris Martin’s Split Mocked By Comedians
They really just set themselves up to be mocked, it was just too easy for comedians! Gwyneth, who is constantly dissed for her pretentious lifestyle, made herself a bulleye’s with her separation statement.
Gwyneth and Chris Martin have split. Please respect my privacy during this terrible time.
— Michael Ian Black (@michaelianblack) March 26, 2014
“Ugh, she’s so annoying” – Anne Hathaway on Gwyneth Paltrow
— billy eichner (@billyeichner) March 26, 2014
From today’s GOOP:
“Conscious Un-coupling Cleanse Tonic”
60 oz. Jim Beam
Throw guava at husband. Drink Jim Beam. Serves one.
— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) March 26, 2014
Leave it to Gwyneth Paltrow to make breaking up sound like some grandiose indulgence that you can’t afford.
— Dave Holmes (@DaveHolmes) March 26, 2014
Wondering how many Mcdonalds breakfasts Chris Martin had this morning.
— Jamie East (@mrjamieeast) March 26, 2014
So when does Chris Martin eat his first bacon cheeseburger?
— Jordan Zakarin (@jordanzakarin) March 25, 2014
Ugh, it’s after six, I can’t wait to consciously uncouple from work for the day.
— joereid (@joereid) March 25, 2014
Chris Devastated Over Gwyneth Split: Inside Their Separation
HollywoodLife.com spoke to an insider who told us that Chris desperately tried to save his marriage but Gwyneth was “emotionally checked out.”
“Chris is devastated,” a source tells us. “He suggested counseling, he even suggested they move back to London but ultimately that just didn’t work out for them.”
Together they have two children, Apple, 9, and Moses, 7, and we’ve been told that the custody arrangement could pose a problem.
“Now they’ll have to figure out custody because he loves those kids more than anything,” the source says. “He’s very hurt.”
In case you need a refresher, this is what they posted to her website that caused such a stir:
It is with hearts full of sadness that we have decided to separate. We have been working hard for well over a year, some of it together, some of it separated, to see what might have been possible between us, and we have come to the conclusion that while we love each other very much we will remain separate. We are, however, and always will be a family, and in many ways we are closer than we have ever been. We are parents first and foremost, to two incredibly wonderful children and we ask for their and our space and privacy to be respected at this difficult time. We have always conducted our relationship privately, and we hope that as we consciously uncouple and co-parent, we will be able to continue in the same manner.
Gwyneth & Chris
HollywoodLifers, do you think everyone is being too mean?
— Written by Tierney McAfee, Reporting by Chloe Melas