On the insane, intensely satisfying March 4 episode of ‘Agents of SHIELD’ fans got what they’d been waiting for since the show’s fall premiere — an explanation for Coulson’s mysterious resurrection after his death in the ‘Avengers’ movie.
It took a bullet in Skye’s (Chloe Bennet) belly and a trip to a World War II bunker, but on March 4, Agents of SHIELD fans finally found out what happened to Agent Coulson (Clark Gregg) when he was stabbed by a Chitauri Scepter two years ago in The Avengers. Oh, and speaking of The Avengers, a sexy Asgardian (don’t get your hopes up — it’s not Thor) showed up to rain hell on Earth. Wild!
‘Agents of SHIELD’ — Coulson’s Resurrection Revealed (Finally!)
Nick Fury, you sneaky man!
After months of anticipation, we finally learned the truth behind Coulson’s regeneration — and, as expected, it wasn’t pretty. But we’ll get to all that in a second. First, let’s talk about Skye.
After Ian Quinn shot her at the end of last week (Month?It’s been a while) it was revealed that the bullet messed up her belly, piercing her large and small intestines. In other words, she was toast. This was not okay with Agent May (Ming-Na Wen), who beat the crap out of Quinn, nor Fitz (Iain De Caestecker) and Simmons (Elizabeth Henstridge), as they all boarded the Bus to head to the mysterious SHIELD facility where Coulson had been “fixed” to save Skye’s life.
Thing is, Fitz and Simmons quickly learned that there was no such SHIELD facility. Everything — from the doctors to sexy interns to the color of their scrubs — had been fabricated. And to make matters worse, Agent Bill Paxton showed up with orders from SHIELD to extract Quinn, dead Skye or no dead Skye. And said Agent Bill Paxton had once been Agent Ward’s (Brett Dalton) handler, so that triggered some good old fashioned male jealousy. (But overall Agent BP seems pretty cool, so I’m psyched that the Twister/Aliens/Titanic/Big Love actor has been booked for several episodes.)
‘Agents of SHIELD’ Recap — A ‘Clairvoyant’ New Villain Is Revealed(ish)
Ooh, this is exciting! Upon further interrogation, Quinn revealed that he hadn’t shot Skye because of anything she knew or didn’t know — he shot her so that someone named “The Clairvoyant” could figure out what had happened to Coulson before the Battle of New York.
“I shot Skye because that’s what the Clairvoyant told me to do,” he said. “The Clairvoyant sees everything… except what happened to him.”
We know next to nothing about this Clairvoyant person/alien/superhero/etc. at this time, but we do know that he or she is evil enough to murder an innocent woman to dig for information about SHIELD’s shady medical dealings. So let’s just all assume that The Clairvoyant is going to be a major badass villain, cause we kind of need one of those right now.
‘Agents of SHIELD’ Recap — Coulson Wanted Skye To Die
Okay, so he didn’t want her to die per say. However, once Fitz and Simmons located the World War II bunker called “Guest House” — a code name, as it’s a medical facility that houses the mysterious GH drug that saved Coulson — his memories started to kick in, and he remembered literally screaming for his doctors to kill him rather than continue with his treatments. Looks like bringing someone back whose been dead for days isn’t as easy as it looks. (ASIDE: Doesn’t all of this make Nick Fury — who was in charge of this whole operation — look like kind of an a–hole?)
The boys raided the bunker, and managed to get some GH-325 up to Simmons so that she could save Skye’s life. Mysteriously, Coulson quickly changed his tune, telling Agent BP and the gang not to save Skye with the GH drug.
They didn’t listen, of course, and we quickly saw why Coulson was so worried — seeing a weird little medical chamber with the word “T.A.H.I.T.I.” on it triggered some crazy ‘Nam flashbacks, but that was child’s play compared to the disturbing image of what the GH drug is actually capable of. We saw a man — or more accurately, what was left of a man — completely torn in half, with dozens of GH tubes running through his body to regenerate him. This obviously traumatized Coulson, who realized that the pain of death is nothing compared to the pain that follows this uncivilized resurrection. Whatever the GH-325 did to him back in fake-Tahiti, he did not want that happening to Skye.
“Being down there… seeing where I came from… I just got really scared that she would suffer the way that I did,” Coulson said to a concerned Agent May. “But she didn’t… for some reason, she didnt.”
But he — and May — both knew that Skye’s troubles were likely far from over, despite how quick and easy her resurrection may have seemed.
Oh, and as for that Clairvoyant guy, he totally flaked on Ian Quinn and left him in the hands of a gleeful Agent Paxton. Haha, sucks to be you, Ian Quinn!
‘Agents of SHIELD’ Recap — Asgardians Come To Earth!
We then flashed to Death Valley, Calif., where a gleeful newlywed couple was preparing to check into a motel for what looked to be the saddest honeymoon of all time. It only got sadder, however, when a sexy, redheaded Asgardian showed up to ruin all of their fun.
“Is all of Midgard so desolate?” the clearly lost Asgardian asked the hubby, while the wife was checking in. He looked confused, but obviously enamored with this spectacularly beautiful alien woman. She then asked him about his wife, and if he “preferred” the woman to herself. He said yes, but it was pretty obvious that he was already under her spell. (Sorry, wifey, but you’re probably better off.)
“Loyalty,” the Asgardian purred. “I admire that in a man.”
However, she — who revealed herself to be the Thor villain Lorelei — instantly contradicted herself by stealing the hubby, and seducing him into pledging his loyalty to her instead.
What did you think of the episode, fellow Muggles? (Crap, wrong franchise.) Are you excited for some more Avengers action on the small screen? Are you satisfied with the explanation behind Coulson’s regeneration? Let me know your thoughts in the comments!
— Shaunna Murphy