Did that really just happen? We’re coming to the end of our time with Fiona Goode and her ragtag Coven, and it’s a good thing too — three main characters bit it tonight; one of them so major that their death will impact the ladies of our beloved Coven forever. Don’t read on if you don’t want to know who died on ‘AHS’!
American Horror Story has never been shy about killing (or reviving) its lead characters, but “Go To Hell” featured three fates that were so cruel we almost forgot that these are all terrible people who kind of deserve it.
‘AHS: Coven’: Fiona Gets Murdered; Becomes Gator Poop
Ding-dong, the (main) witch is dead.
It’s a good thing Cordelia (Sarah Paulson) “Scabby Eyes” Foxx already added the Seven Wonders test to her iPhone calendar, because the Coven’s Supreme is no more. One crazy thing that sometimes happens when you date an axe murderer is that the said axe murderer axes you, with his axe. Because he’s a murderer.
But Fiona (Jessica Lange) was always too caught up in herself and how the Axeman (Danny Huston) made her feel when she was sick to notice how emotionally dependent on her he had become, so when she bought a plane ticket out of dodge, she didn’t really consider the consequences. Enter axe, which promptly chopped Fiona into multiple pieces (mostly off-camera) to be fed to the gators (entirely off-camera). Perfect timing, because Cordelia had a pretty graphic vision of Fiona murdering the entire Coven before she passed, and they all would have tried to kill her anyway.
Misty Day (Lily Rabe) — who was saved by the gals when Cordelia and her “sight” heard her singing Fleetwood Mac jams in the cemetery — noted that even she couldn’t being Fiona back now that she was gator poop, so it’s definitely time for this new Supreme we’ve been hearing so much about to finally show her stuff.
On the plus side, the ladies of the Coven are finally getting along — mostly because they have to for their own survival, but let’s just take good news wherever we can get it. Misty and Madison (Emma Roberts) had a little scuffle since, you know, Madison “buried” Misty alive, but they resolved their differences-ish when it came time to murder the Axeman. (Which was amazing and super girl power-y, natch. Especially when Madison called him a “psycho mass-murderer” and my beloved Myrtle replied, “Is there anyone here of whom that could not be said?” Point, Myrtle.)
Oh, and Zoe (Taissa Farmiga) and her boyfriend Waste Of Space are back, since nobody under the age of 75 really wants to live in Florida anyway, and Kyle kept murdering people.
Basically, we (and the Coven) are all just biding our time until the Seven Wonders test at this point. It will most definitely be a s–t show, since the test involves fire and if you fail… well, I’ll let the dearly departed Fiona explain it:
“You will perform the Seven Wonders, or you will die trying.”
Yikes. Am I the only one hoping that Myrtle is the new Supreme? Can we somehow make that happen? No?
‘AHS: Coven’: LaLaurie & Laveau Head Straight To Hell (Do Not Pass Go)
If you recall, last week’s episode ended with LaLaurie (Kathy Bates) having the upper hand over Marie Laveau (Angela Bassett), and the immortal voodoo priestess had already been scattered in pieces all over New Orleans (noticing a trend, here?) by the time “Go To Hell” rolled around. There was a pretty great sequence with LaLaurie acting as a tour guide (in modern, Hillary Clinton-esque clothes) in her own former home, but she quickly lost her job when Queenie (Gabourey Sidibe) showed up to stab her to death.
“But… but… that’s not possible!” you say. “She’s immortal!” Well, a week ago you would have been right, but Papa Legba (Lance Reddick) — the coked-up voodoo demon Ryan Murphy found wandering around the set of a Rob Zombie movie — works in mysterious ways.
Queenie went off to find Marie since “[when] the only other black witch in this place goes missing, I want to know what happened,” and when she ended up in her own personal hell — the chicken joint — she convinced Legba to reinstate LaLaurie’s mortality since the chopped-to-bits Marie can no longer make good on her part of their bargain. Got it? Basically, you can’t steal babies when your kidneys are being served up with the gumbo at the Superdome, so Marie is useless to Legba.
And as we quickly learned, it’s far better to be “dead dead” in the Coven world than on the other side of a deal with Legba. The two lifelong foes are now stuck in their own personal hells, together. LaLaurie will be forever stuck in one of her slave’s cages, helpless as the equally suffering Marie is forced to stick a fire poker up her daughter’s ass over and over again for the rest of eternity. You can’t make this s–t up, folks. Well, unless you’re Ryan Murphy.
What did you think of the episode, Coven fans? Are you surprised that Fiona didn’t make it to the bitter end? Who would you rather be in LaLaurie and Marie’s terrifying hell scenario — the torturer, or torture-ee? Why is Kyle even there? And who will finally be the freaking Supreme? Let me know in the comments!
— Shaunna Murphy