The shirts were off and the claws were out on the June 17 episode of ‘The Bachelorette,’ as Des made her men compete in a beauty pageant, and it was way more eventful than ‘Miss USA.’
If you didn’t think there was anything more degrading then going on The Bachelorette, then you were wrong! In this week’s episode Desiree Hartsock‘s men take their shirts off and get their sexy out to compete in a Mr. America pageant, and yes, it’s every bit as horrendous as you can imagine. Des and her men headed to Atlantic City where she had one immensely awkward date, but all was good when she got to judge the rest like prize meat.
Desiree’s Dud Date With Brad
Ugh, this was the worst. Desiree and Brad had a date on the shore at Atlantic City, and awkward doesn’t even describe how terrible this date was. That’s probably because Sean Lowe might be more Brad’s type than Desiree’s.
After a day of eating salt water taffy and jumping around on the beach, Des realized that she and Brad had zero chemistry over dinner. Des did not give him a rose, and Brad began weeping when he left. That’s probably because she made him walk to the top of the lighthouse to dump him. It’s safe to say Desiree made the right choice. The whole date was a disaster, but it was pretty amusing seeing the other guys watch them from the hotel window and angrily shake their fists. I may have made that last part up.
Mr America Pageant
For Des’ group date, she invited Brooks, Chris, Michael, Ben, Zack, Zak, Drew, Juan, Kasey, Bryden and Mikey to compete in a Mr America competition. IT. WAS. AMAZING.
This date began with Brooks calling Des a “mystical unicorn,” and that has to be the oddest compliment she has ever gotten. Michael said it was a “life long dream to be Mr America”, and I think Des should have sent him home for that comment alone. It was like an idiot circus as the guys attempt to find a talent for the competition.
And then comes out the swimsuits! The boys made a mad dash so they don’t end up in a banana hammock, and Ben pulled the smallest one!
The men start to oil up for the competition in front of a live audience, and three judges — the town Mayor, Miss America Mallory Hagan and Desiree.
The question round was boring, but the talent section was perfection!
Kasey tap danced, Mikey stripped, Brooks sang, Ben danced with ribbons, Drew read Shakespeare (swoon!), Bryden also stripped and Chris danced in high heels. Things got deep when Zak began singing, and I really thought he had it in the bag.
The swimsuit section was possibly more impressive than Magic Mike. And there was more oil.
At the end, Brooks came third, Zak came second and Kasey won. What?! Drew was robbed. Kasey may have gotten a bouquet but will he get a rose?
Sexy Hot Tub Time
Des and her men continue their group date at the hotel pool, and Chris admits to Des that he writes poetry. He seems super deep, until he reads out the WORST poetry I have ever heard, but Des fails hook, line and sinker for it. And the lucky dude got some make out time in the hot tub.
Once again the guys team up against Evil Ben — this season’s Tierra — and I have to say I think I am Team Ben. These guys are such winey losers — it’s not Ben’s fault that he is better at playing the game then they are. Brooks, Michael and Mikey really seem to hate him.
Zak sings the rest of his song for Des, and it’s safe to say he is the only one who has any actual talent. Des rightfully gives him the rose, but the rest of the guys are just happy that Ben didn’t get it.
They all jumped into the pool together, and Des once again reminds us that she is so much cooler than Emily Maynard.
James’ Private Date
James prepares for his private date by having a bubble bath, drinking red wine, and wearing a robe. Does he have his period?
I do not trust this guy.
James and Des go for a date on the Jersey Shore, and they sure don’t look like they are having half as much fun as Snooki and co. They take a helicopter ride along the shore to see the devastation from Hurricane Sandy, and this has got to be the most unromantic date of all time.
They meet a couple who lost everything they own. Man this is depressing. Des feels so bad for them that she offers them her and James’ date. I don’t think that will fix all their problems, but it’s a nice gesture. James may not have gotten a date but he did get a kiss and spaghetti. What more could a dude ask for?
On James date with Des, he admits that he cheated on his ex. Dump him now Des; leopards don’t change their spots. Des thinks that because he is honest he is a changed man, but I am not so sure. Then she makes out with him, they enjoy some slow dancing and James gets a rose.
Rose Ceremony Elimination
Des shows up looking hot in a mini for the cocktail party, and once the wine starts flowing things get intense.
I’m super surprised that Michael gets some make out time with Des, but then we know how much Des likes making out. Desiree reassures Chris that he is not in the friend zone by making out with him too, and Bryden then decided to air this grievances over his issues with Ben. Send him home Des.
Zack is sent home in the end, which is a shame because he seemed like a really nice guy. When he cries, I actually feel bad for him. Oh well, I’ll have forgotten his name by tomorrow.
What do YOU think HollywoodLifers? Was Des right to send home Zack and Brad?
— Eleanore Hutch
More ‘Bachelorette’ News:
- ‘Bachelorette’ Trailer: Desiree Hartsock Meets The Contestants
- ‘Bachelorette’: Desiree Hartsock Needs To Eliminate Ben Scott
- ‘Bachelorette’ Recap: Desiree Hartsock Finds Her Fiance On Season Premiere