The designer opens up in his first sober interview ever and admits his infamous rant was ‘the worst thing I have said in my life.’ After a troubling struggle with alcohol and drugs he’s just happy to be alive.
In John Galliano‘s first interview since his obscene racial rant back in 2011 that resulted in his arrest and a trip to rehab, the designer sheds some light on his troubled life and years of substance abuse that led to his outrageous remarks. Now, two years sober, the designer is ready to open up about his disgraceful behavior that shocked the world.
John Galliano Interview After Rehab:
“Even now I’m still learning every day how many people I hurt,” he tells Vanity Fair in his first interview since his downfall in 2011. “It’s the worst thing I have said in my life,” he told the magazine, “but I didn’t mean it.” He added, “I have been trying to find out why that anger was directed at this race. I now realize I was so fucking angry and so discontent with myself that I just said the most spiteful thing I could.”
John Galliano Reacts To His Racial Slurs & Arrest:
The designer, who still cannot recall his behavior on that infamous evening that changed his life forever, said he was in shock when he viewed the video of his rant. “When I saw it, I threw up. The feeling was like I was about to take a step out onto the street and a bus or truck whoosed past me and the blood was drained from my legs. I was paralyzed from fear.”
While during the rant Galliano portrayed himself as an anti-Semitic monster, the designer said his blacked-out behavior left him just as flabbergasted as everyone else. “It’s funny — when this all first happened I was like, I can’t be racist. I can’t be. I grew up in South London, in a melting pot.” he said. “South London saw the first immigration of Jamaicans, Indians, Greeks.”
Why He’s ‘Grateful’ For What Happened:
Flashback to the years leading up to that one night. Galliano was praised for his creativity and success in the world of fashion — his designs and construction were ground-breaking. Although behind his talent, the designer was masking a dark struggle with alcohol and drugs that started when he was in his 20s. “I was going to end up in a mental asylum or six feet under,” the designer said. The interview goes into detail about Galliano’s slow downward spiral and, worst of all, the way he denied his substance-abuse problem — until it finally couldn’t be ignored.
While the designer is slowly trying to ease back into the world of fashion, most recently working alongside designer Oscar de la Renta as a guest in his atelier leading up to his Fall 2013 collection, he’s mainly just grateful for all he has experienced in the last few years. “I know it sounds a bit bizarre, but I’m so grateful for what did happen. I have learned so much about myself. I have re-discovered that little boy who had the hunger to create, which I think I had lost. I’m alive.”
For more from Galliano’s interview, be sure to check out the July issue of Vanity Fair for the full interview.