Dragons may be the most feared creatures in all the land, but it turns out bears are also pretty terrifying.
As a fan of the complicated relationship between Jaime (Nikolaj Coster-Waldau) and Brienne — they’re basically the Ross and Big-Rachel of Westeros — I really enjoyed the May 12 episode of Game of Thrones, which found the Kingslayer going up against a bear of an enemy to save his lady from death. And by “a bear,” I mean an actual freakin’ bear. It was huge!
Sansa & Tyrion’s Wedding Bell Blues
Over at King’s Landing, Margaery (Natalie Dormer) was helping Sansa (Sophie Turner) see the silver lining in her upcoming marriage to Tyrion (Peter Dinklage). Sure, she was going to have gross sex with the tiny, nefarious womanizer — but their eventual son will have a bright future ahead of him!
Of course, all she really needed to say was, “Sansa, girl, there’s a reason they call Loras the Knight of Flowers.” #gay
Gendry’s Gen-etics Revealed
Speaking of King’s Landing, Melisandre (Carice van Houten) gave Gendry a little history lesson as they sailed past the Lannister’s headquarters this week — specifically, that he’s really the bastard son of Robert Baratheon! (Real talk: Gendry’s mom must have been smokin’ hot, because he doesn’t look anything like that fat idiot king… God rest his soul.)
Daenerys Plays A ‘Risk’y Little Game
In case you needed a refresher course on how much of a badass Daenerys (Emilia Clarke) has become, this week’s episode served to do just that. Upon arriving at Yunkai, “the yellow city,” she demanded the Yunkish leader surrender himself, or she would make sure his city faces the same fiery fate as Astapor.
Mr. Yunkai — I missed his name, so let’s call him that — offered Daenerys ships and gold, which she took, but that wasn’t quite enough. She also demanded that he free every slave and pay them for their time of servitude, all in exchange for her not killing him. “Reject this gift, and I shall show you no mercy,” she said, at which point I just about wet my pants with fear.
Khaleesi, you are my everything.
Other Goings-On In Westeros
1. Theon (Alfie Allen) faced his most intense torture yet this week. A pair of mysterious skanks got him hot-and-bothered, which he enjoyed very much, but it was all a charade. His captor just wanted him to get a boner, so he could cut it off! (And Jaime thought he had it rough?!)
2. Arya (Maisie Williams) tried to escape the Brotherhood when she realized they wouldn’t be taking her straight to her family, but she was captured in the woods by a not-so-friendly — and not-so-pretty — familiar face: The Hound!
3. Is Robb (Richard Madden) going to be a dad?!
HollywoodLifers, what did you think of this week’s episode? Is Daenerys getting too big for her britches? Will Tyrion and Sansa find a way out of their nuptials? And what’s worse: Losing your hand, or your ding-dong? Drop a comment with your review, and your predictions!
— Andy Swift