‘Game Of Thrones’ Recap: Daenerys Makes A Deadly Trade

Daenerys (literally) turned up the heat on her enemies this week, reminding us all what a khaleesi is capable of.

I typically end every Game of Thrones episode feeling sufficiently full and satisfied, but then there are a few “moments” in each season that leave me stunned, excited and covered in goosebumps. Thanks to Daenerys (Emilia Clarke) and her newfound ‘take no prisoners’ approach to life, I feel like we finally got season three’s first such “moment” on the April 21 episode — in a scene so powerful, I practically knelt in front of my TV and swore my undying allegiance to the khaleesi right then and there.

I’m talking, of course, about the way Daenerys totally turned the tide on her deal with Nakloz and became the show’s most bad-ass character all in a matter of minutes. After exchanging her largest dragon for every last Unsullied, Daenerys commanded her army to free every slave and kill every master, before turning her dragon’s flame on an unsuspecting Nakloz. The look on his face when he realized that Daenerys spoke Valyrian, and therefore understood every demeaning word he had said about her, was priceless.

As Daenerys marched out of Astapor, with her army of thousands trailing behind and her trio of dragons flying above, I had to wonder: Does anyone even stand a chance against her now?

All About Sansa

For being such a boring character, Sansa (Sophie Turner) sure did have tongues flapping all over King’s Landing this week. It began when Roz got her hands on Little Finger’s travel plans and told Lord Varys that he intended on taking Sansa back to the Starks. (A whore who can read?! Now I’ve seen everything!)

Naturally, Varys couldn’t keep this information to his bald little self, so he immediately scurried off to tell Lady Olenna. He warned her that, adorable nickname aside, Little Finger is “one of the most dangerous man in Westeros,” and that he’s got his sights set on using Catelyn (Michelle Fairley) and/or Sansa to claim the North.

But in the midst of all this chatter, no one knew that Margaery (Natalie Dormer) was busy whispering her own agenda into Sansa’s ear. She proposed that Sansa marry Loras, which would make her the top lady at Highgarden — and establish a permanent affiliation with her new “friend,” Margaery. (While it sucks that Sansa would get literally no sex whatsoever from Loras, I think it’s safe to say that marrying him would be her best option.)

Tyrion’s Revenge

Still convinced that Cersei (Lena Headey) tried to have him killed during the Battle of Blackwater, Tyrion (Peter Dinklage) went to Varys for “proof.” And while the full-grown cherub was unable to give him what he asked for, he was able to regale him with the delightful story of the time he had his nuts-and-berries chopped off by a sorcerer.

This terrifying tangent didn’t seem at all relevant to Tyrion’s plight — until Varys revealed that he’d spent his whole life tracking that sorcerer down, and now has him trapped in a little box, which he’s using to torture him for the rest of his days. In a nutshell (pun intended), Varys told Tyrion that the revenge he’s looking for will be his in time.

Jaime’s Rotten Hand

Literally adding insult to injury, Jaime’s (Nikolaj Coster-Waldau) captors forced him to wear his severed hand around his neck on a string. Then lay in the mud. And drink horse pee. Really, it just wasn’t a great week for the Kingslayer and his plus-sized pal.

Speaking of Brienne (Gwendoline Christie), she and Jaime did manage to share one touching moment this week, even in the middle of their misfortune. She thanked him for convincing their captors not to rape her, even going so far as to lie about her family’s wealth. I think she knows it’s partially her fault that he lost his hand, and I predict she’ll provide lots of assistance on his road to recovery.

Not So Fast, Theon

In a wonderfully weird — but mostly just wonderful — twist on Theon’s (Alfie Allen) little torture tale, his ‘savior’ actually led him back to the men who initially kidnapped him. For the majority of the episode, Theon thought he was being taken to see his sister, only to discover he was being taken in a complete circle.

I do feel a little bad, though, as Theon admitted that everything he’s done against the Starks has been a mistake. “My real father lost his head at King’s Landing,” he told the double-crosser. “I made a choice, and I chose wrong.”

The Craster Disaster

S**t got real at Craster’s house this week, let me tell you. Some of the men of the Night’s Watch became fed up with the way he was treating them — apparently they’re ‘too good’ to eat sawdust, or whatever — and they went straight to Craster with their grievances. After a whole lot of name-calling, all hell broke lose, and many men — Craster included — ended up dead.

Sam took advantage of the chaos, helping his lady friend and her new baby (boy) escape. “Run fast, piggy!” he heard as he hobbled off into the night.

HollywoodLifers, what are your thoughts on this week’s episode? Is Daenerys officially the show’s most bad-ass character? Should Sansa marry Loras? Drop a comment with your review and predictions for the future!

WATCH: Game of Thrones Finale Breakdown ‘Mhysa’ Season 3

— Andy Swift

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