The Kingslayer stuck his neck out for Brienne, and things didn’t end well.
Jaime (Nikolaj Coster-Waldau) and Brienne (Gwendoline Christie) remained in captivity on the April 14 episode of Game of Thrones, and it was nice to see that even under such harsh conditions, the two were able to keep their sexual tension alive. But when night fell, things got much darker for the duo — and Jaime’s life was changed forever.
Their captors from House Bolton attempted to rape Brienne, and even though Jaime originally told her she’d be wise not to resist it, he ended up saving her life. He told the men that Brienne’s father would pay good money to see her returned unharmed — and, more importantly, undefiled.
But just when Jaime thought he’d saved the day, his captors turned their frustrations on him… and they chopped off his hand!
Tyrion’s Sex Education
Over at King’s Landing, the Lannisters continued their little family feud. Tyrion (Peter Dinklage) was named the Master of Coin — which makes absolutely no sense, considering he only knows how to spend money — and Cersei (Lena Headey) couldn’t have been more supportive of the decision. ‘Cause she’s a huge bitch.
The day took a really weird turn, though, when it came time for Tyrion to thank Podrick for saving his life at the Battle of Blackwater. He bought three of King’s Landing’s finest whores for the young squire, only to discover Podrick is apparently such a sex master, that the ladies decided to do it for free.
There may be hope for him, after all!
Arya’s (Maisie Williams) little trio lost its jolliest member this week, as the gang’s non-captors decided Hot Pie’s talents were more suited for the kitchen than the battlefield. In his defense, he is really good at baking bread — and he does have freakin’ “pie” in his name.
As Arya and Gendry rode off into the forest with Thoros and the rest of his crew, they exchanged valuable words of advice with their old friend, like “Don’t get stabbed” and “Don’t burn your fingers.”
Bake in peace, Hot Pie. We’ll never forget you.
‘Snow Country For Infant Men
Life beyond the wall remained pretty freakin’ terrible this week, as Jon Snow (Kit Harington) and his new friends found a whole bunch of dead horses, presumably owned by the Night’s Watch. Mance Rayder ordered a small crew, including Jon, to head over the wall and wait for his signal — aka “the biggest fire the north has ever seen.”
Meanwhile, the men of the Night’s Watch found themselves holed up at Craster’s den of nightmares, where Sam witnessed the birth of a baby boy. But the question is: Will he keep his piggy mouth shut about what Craster does with baby boys?
Theon Gets Lucky — Again
I’ve got to say, I’m really enjoying these Theon-torture scenes. Just when the incestuous Greyjoy thought he’d escaped his captors, they caught up to him on horseback — and they were pissed.
Lots of kicking and crying ensued, until suddenly, a barrage of arrows killed all of Theon’s pursuers — thus sparing his miserable little life yet again. (When will he just die already?!)
Stannis (Stephen Dillane) and Melisandre (Carice van Houten) got into their first lovers’ quarrel this week, as she refused to tell him where she was headed on her latest voyage. He even tried to get her to say by asking to make another son with her, but she told him he didn’t have the strength.
“Your fires burn low, my king,” she told him, suggesting that another sacrifice of his own blood would need to be made. Of course, he’s not the only person in Westeros his blood.
Daenerys Plays ‘Let’s Make A Deal’
Has Daenerys (Emilia Clarke) completely lost of her mind, or is she not filling us in on her real plan? Despite Jorah and Sir Barristan’s wishes, the khaleesi offered to trade one of her dragons — the biggest one, of course — for all 8,000 of the Unsullied, plus the ones still in training.
She also took Missandei as a “gift,” but I’m thinking she’s just sick of being outnumbered by all the dudes. When Missandei brought up the old saying “All men must die,” Daenerys quickly responded, “Yes, but we are not men.”
(OK, she definitely not filling us in on her real plan.)
HollywodLifers, give us your thoughts on this week’s episode: Do you miss Jaime’s hand already? Do you think Daenerys will really give up one of her dragons? Drop a comment with your reactions and predictions!
— Andy Swift
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