Sean and Catherine, you’re in the throes of passion and romance after finding love on ’The Bachelor,’ but you can’t expect it to just stay that way without work. Here’s what you have to do.
Unlike recent Bachelors Ben Flajnik and Jake Pavelka and their ex-fiancées, Courtney Robertson and Vienna Girardi, there are no hard-to-ignore rumors about your relationship being fake — or at least shaky.
You two looked genuinely thrilled and naturally excited about getting engaged, and you couldn’t keep your lips or hands off each other when you sat on the After the Rose couch and talked with Chris Harrison.
But after the excitement of meeting on The Bachelor wears off, and once Dancing with the Stars, in which Sean is starring in, is over and your super-exciting dream wedding’s on TV, you will actually get down to the business of your marriage.
Reality TV Now Becomes Real Life
That’s when life will get real and you’ll see whether the time you’ve spent meeting on a TV show actually gave you the chance to make sure you have similar life goals, interests, and beliefs — the important things which can hold a marriage together for the long-term.
I really hope that, aside from your intense physical attraction and personal chemistry, you enjoy talking and doing things together. Ultimately, being best friends who communicate well, as well as being lovers who connect in bed, will lead to long-lasting love.
I’ve been married for 29 years to my husband Michael, and we have four wonderful children, and I’m still so happy and in love with my hubby.
But I can tell you that we’ve definitely had our ups and downs, and that marriage can be stressful and irritating at times.
The bottom line that we’ve learned is that you MUST be committed to being a team and to be supportive of each others’ ambitions and feelings. Plus, you must enjoy spending lots of times together.
Decisions You Must Make Before The Wedding
Sean, 29, you’re living in Dallas, Texas and have a career as an insurance salesman. Catherine, 26, you’re from Seattle, Washington, and you’re a graphic designer and vegan food blogger.
The first thing you must decide is where you will live. Don’t be like disastrous marriage partners Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries, who never discussed before the wedding where they would live and how they would also marry their professions.
So have you made the decision about who will move? If not, do that VERY soon. Long distance marriages, especially when they begin that way, definitely have the odds stacked against them.
Next, are you both agreed on whether or not you want kids? And if so, how you’ll divide up the childcare duties? Will you, Sean, be a hands-on dad, willing to shoulder half the child-raising so Catherine can continue her career, or are you both agreed that one of you will quit work and become a full-time parent?
These are super-important issues to discuss before the big, glamorous wedding!
Keeping The Love Alive Takes Work
Also, do you always have lots to talk about? And do you love to do the same activities together?
You want to make sure you have lots in common! Opposites may attract, but they rarely turn into long-lasting heat.
And I know it’s hard to imagine when you’re in the throes of hot and heavy romance, but that intensity of “I can’t stand not being together for one minute,” does wear off after a few years and then you realize that it does require work, if you’re not going to end up fuming quietly for hours or days, after a fight.
You’re still in love, but all couples have arguments, and you need to learn to resolve your disagreements, when passion isn’t enough to get you through difficult times.
So, I know you both are on a high right now. Probably an even bigger high than most mortals. You met and fell in love in such an intense and exciting situation, but you must take some quiet moments and months.
Don’t rush the TV wedding. Make sure you’ve made the right decision and that you have what it takes to make your marriage work long-term. And make sure you’re both committed to working on your relationship after the wedding! You both seem delirious now — you both want to be happy for a lifetime.
Do you agree, HollywoodLifers? Let me know!
– Bonnie Fuller
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