John Boehner’s Shockingly Orange Complexion: What Gives?

Mon, January 21, 2013 3:55pm EST by 8 Comments
John Boehner Orange
Courtesy of NBC

The Speaker of the House took the stand to give a speech at President Obama’s post-Inaugural luncheon. While public speaking has been known to turn faint presenters green, Boehner’s distinctly orange flush was the most captivating aspect of his delivery.

Blustery winter weather is in full effect throughout the Northern Hemisphere, but U.S. Representative John Boehner appears to be immune to the torture of brisk, subzero temps. What shall we credit with Boehner’s fluorescent complexion? Self-tanner gone wrong? A tanning bed addiction? Vacations to remote islands of Oompa Loompas? What gives!?

As a Jersey girl, born and raised, who’s pale 365 days a year, I certainly know my bronzing rituals 1) pop Vitamin D supplements indoors or 2) slather on SPF 90 while hiding behind Nicole Richie-esque sunglasses. Seriously, Snooki would be so disappointed in me. In order to look like I’ve been outdoors, oh, once or twice, in my entire life, I’ve perfected a master ritual of strategic bronzing, gradual self-tanning, and Sun In hair lightening that I maintain throughout the seasons. Let’s just say that I can truly appreciate someone whose skincare presentation is more successful than mine.

When I see an obviously faux tan, my reaction is inevitably torn between “oh, gross!” (judgmental) and “hey, how can I get that healthy glow?” (jealous) depending on the convincing-ness of the glow. I mean, I’m not even a bronze goddess in the August heat, so I should be loving John Boehner’s ability to rock a tan in the January fog. Still, the Crayola orange edition of his tan is more distracting than it is reminiscent of island vacations past. As soon as he took the stage, I had to look down at my own pasty arms in shock to compare his sunset orange skin to mine.

Sure, it’s ridiculous to be focusing on a 63-year-old man’s tanning preferences, when there are actual political issues being discussed, and history being made at Obama’s Inauguration. But ridiculous just happens to be my style.

Plus, there are very real health concerns at stake here! For John’s sake, I really hope that his tanning ritual is of the lotion or bronzer variety, rather than of a horribly damaging tanning bed addiction. Hitting the tanning beds is terrible enough, but the amount of trips necessary to create that kind of orange faux glow would be absolutely alarming. A mismatched bronzer shade, the beauty department can fix. Temporary tanning faux pas can easily fade away and be fixed. But I sincerely hope that he’s taking his skin health seriously!

HollywoodLifers, how do YOU think John Boehner got his glow?

– Kristine Hope Kowalski

More Orange-Skinned Celebrities:

  1. Pippa Middelton’s Orange Skin: Is She Tan-orexic?
  2. Saturday Night Live’s Kristen Wiig Mocks ‘Tanorexic’ Mom Patricia Krentcil
  3. Snooki Calls Too Tan Mom ‘Crazy’ For Taking Daughter Tanning

Leave a Reply

To comment, please fill in the fields below, enter your comment and select the Comment button.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

View Comment


Posted at 4:31 PM on January 21, 2015  

Boehner is a reptile, he always turns funny colors when he’s upset, agitated, drunk, etc…

Share this comment at Share with Twitter


Posted at 1:05 AM on September 4, 2014  

John Boehner has more melanin than most other whites… mm,m,,,lol
Look at his sister…you guys are so slow….smh……..ok..ok…he has black blood….dopes.

Share this comment at Share with Twitter

igrow laser cap

Posted at 12:56 AM on August 21, 2014  

It is suitable for use even on those tender parts of the body.
However, genetics and male sex hormones do not fully explain the exact mechanism that will cause hair loss to start.
There are a number of lasers used to remove locks like Ruby aesthetic laser,
Alexandrite laser, Pulsed diode array, Aragon aesthetic laser as well as Nd:YAG.

Share this comment at Share with Twitter

anal ,

Posted at 4:26 AM on August 20, 2014  

Hello there! I know this is somewhat off topic but
I was wondering which blog platform are you using for this
website? I’m getting tired of WordPress because I’ve had issues with
hackers and I’m looking at alternatives for another platform.
I would be great if you could point me in the direction of a good platform.

Share this comment at Share with Twitter


Posted at 12:54 PM on December 28, 2013  

I’ve often thought this guy is an alcoholic. He just seems too relaxed and behaves like a guy who imbibes alcohol to keep his cool. So maybe his liver is shot and now he has a jaundiced-appearance to go with his overly-cool demeanor.

Share this comment at Share with Twitter


Posted at 12:50 PM on December 28, 2013  

Weekends at the golf course in Florida

Share this comment at Share with Twitter


Posted at 12:26 PM on January 22, 2013  

The guy is drunk. He’s got liver problems. It’s obvious.

Share this comment at Share with Twitter

Mr. J

Posted at 9:15 PM on January 21, 2013  

Everybody knows that’s the hue a alcoholic has after a night of heavy drinking. The flush orangy/red color is the result of acetaldehyde, a metabolic byproduct of the catabolic metabolism of alcohol. That’s right Boner is a ALKIE!!!

Share this comment at Share with Twitter