Rob — You know now that your worst fears aren’t true. Kristen has confessed and insisted she didn’t have sex with Rupert. That should help strengthen your “shaky reconciliation.”
However, you should take a lot of comfort in the fact that Kristen didn’t actually sleep with Rupert Sanders. Apparently, she has sworn that she and Rupert merely kissed, and Rupert reportedly has said the same thing to his estranged wife, Liberty Ross.
Now, it’s understandable that even kissing to you feels like a punch in the stomach, especially because it was captured on film. But you have to admit that you would feel even worse and the situation would probably be irredeemable if Kristen had became fully intimate with Rupert.
That’s because as a guy, the physical aspect of full-on cheating is far more abhorrent to you than it would be if you were a woman.
“For men, the physical aspect of cheating — actually having their partner have intercourse with another man, is much more devastating,” explains celebrity therapist, Dr. Gilda Carle, “The 30 Second Therapist” for Today.com. ”Rob might be able to more easily lessen his anger since Kristen was just kissing Rupert.”
“Women on the other hand, are generally more upset by their man having an ‘emotional’ affair with someone else,” says Dr. Gilda.
Rob, other men I’ve spoken to back up Dr. Gilda.
“There’s just something so awful about another man being ‘in’ your woman. In her most private place,” one man told me.
“It’s your ego that would get so hurt, if your girlfriend actually slept with another man. It just gets to the essence of your manliness. You’d feel emasculated,” another shares. It’s clearly a cave man thing. Guys want to make sure no one’s actually impregnating their woman.
Rob, these men agree that they wouldn’t feel nearly as badly about having their woman cheat by just kissing. It’s just not the same, they say.
Now Rob, I’m not suggesting that you are like other men, and you’ve even admitted to being sensitive. You do after all have two older sisters that you love. But still, I’d say that while Kristen’s cheating was bad, it’s not as unforgiveable for you, as it could be.
The other thing Rob — if the shoe was on the other foot, and you had gotten caught up in a flirtation or gotten drunk and made out with another woman, wouldn’t you expect Kristen to forgive you? Wouldn’t you feel that it was a momentary indiscretion that didn’t interfere with your serious underlying and ongoing feelings for Kristen? Even if your kissing was caught on camera, don’t you think you’d expect ultimately to be forgiven? Hmm. You need to think about that.
Now Rob, I get that you are still hurting right now, and the reconciliation with Kristen is shaky and not a sure thing, but you need to hang in and keep giving it a chance.
Kristen — an excellent source tells us — is hopeful that your romance will get back on track, and she’s working hard to rebuild your trust and show her love and commitment.
When she’s appeared in public recently, she is prominently displaying the locket you gave her as a message of commitment.
Sixty-five percent of married couples survive an episode of cheating, according to Dr. Gilda. You’re not married certainly, but if you two each individually get good, ongoing counseling so you can really come to understand why Kristen cheated and how you feel about it AND you get couples counseling, you could emerge from this episode with a stronger and very honest relationship.
Good luck and Rob and give Kristen a chance!
– Bonnie Fuller
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