Click to Skip Ad
Closing in...

‘Here Comes Honey Boo Boo’ Finale Recap: Alana’s Last Summer Pageant

Thu, September 27, 2012 2:34am EDT by Billy Nilles 2 Comments
Honey Boo Boo Finale
Courtesy of TLC

Season one of ‘Here Comes Honey Boo Boo’ comes to a close as baby Kaitlyn is born and Alana competes in her final pageant of the summer! There’s even a shocking return of a beloved character! Read on for all the details.

Well, fans of Here Comes Honey Boo Boo, we’ve reached the finish line of season one. Luckily, we have news of a second season to cushion our sadness! Let’s review tonight’s insanity, including Alana “Honey Boo Boo” Thompson‘s final pageant of the summer!

Beautimus Family Portrait Time

Before Alana and her family can prepare for her last pageant, mama June Shannon has decided to take the whole group to Boat Landing for an official family portrait. Boat Landing is a place, not just a thing because, why not. Sugar Bear really got dressed up, in his fancy loose t-shirt and jeans. “I’m not the dress-up type, unless it’s a funeral,” he said. The photographer informed us that “holding hands was probably the hardest part for them.” By the end, all she can say is, “I’m exhausted.” You and me both, sister!

Baby Kaitlyn Is Ready

Alana is busy packing for the her pageant, Beach Beauties in Brunswick, but things are cut short when Anna “Chickadee” has a contraction. If baby Kaityln comes, no Beach Beauties, June says. And come Kaitlyn does, three thumbs and all! Lauren and Jessica are nervous to see the two right thumbs, which is entirely understandable. June says, “Every baby’s born with something special.” Alana is envious of Kaitlyn: “I wish I had an extra finger. Then I could grab more cheese balls.” Of course.

Alana wasn’t allowed to visit Kaitlyn in the hospital, so she and Jessica were at home, getting Kaitlyn’s room ready. Though she hasn’t seen her, Alana is sure of Kaitlyn’s size, exclaiming, “Baby Kaitlyn is so tiny, I poop bigger!” What do you want to bet she does? “I’m so excited that I’m about to piss all over myself,” Aunt Honey Boo Boo says about the awaited arrival of Kaitlyn. Yikes.

Alana’s Last Pageant of the Summer

June’s found a new pageant for Alana to close out her summer with, but it’s in two days, so they call in the big guns: Sugar Bear’s baby brother, Uncle Poodle. Further cementing Alana’s status as a gay rights icon, she explains of her Uncle Poodle: “Ain’t nothing wrong with being a little gay. Everyone’s a little gay.” It seems that Alana calls any gay person a poodle, which I actually think is adorable.

The Return of Glitzy the Pig

It’s finally the morning of the Miss Sparkle & Shine Pageant, and Jessica’s stepped in poop on her way to the car. Once the family arrives at the venue, one of Alana’s sisters explains to us the difference between Alana and the other contestants. “Most of the girls are twigs. Alana’s like a log. Or a boulder,” she says. Sisterly love! Alana competes in Beauty and Swimwear and she’s cute, if you can get past the general creepiness of a child’s beauty pageant. Alana doesn’t win Queen of her age division, but she does win People’s Choice! As a bonus award for Alana, Poodle brings Glitzy the Pig on stage! Glitzy is back! Sadly, he’s not coming back home, but just here for a visit. Sadly for everyone but Glitzy, who probably went back to the breeder’s and thought to himself, “Thank God.”

What did you think of the season finale, HollywoodLifers? Were you happy to see Glitzy one last time? Are you sad to see the season end? Are you looking forward to another season of Honey Boo Boo and her family? Let me know in the comments below!

— Billy Nilles

More ‘Here Comes Honey Boo Boo’ Recap Fun:

  1. ‘Here Comes Honey Boo Boo’ Recap: Alana Farts In Front Of Miss Georgia
  2. ‘Here Comes Honey Boo Boo’ Recap: How To Cook ‘Sketti’
  3. ‘Here Comes Honey Boo Boo’ Recap: Alana Jokes ‘I’m Gonna Rob Somebody