Long Live Britney Spears, ‘The X Factor’s New Queen Of Mean

Britney — who knew you had it in you to be a b***h? And I’m saying that with true admiration. You shocked on last night’s, Sept. 12th, ‘The X Factor’ premier, with your blunt honest assessments of the hopelessly non-talented. Can’t wait to see you in every episode! Watch the video!

Admit it Hollywoodlifers — aren’t you so glad to see Britney Spears ON, and the sob sisters — Paula Abdul and Nicole Scherzinger — OFF The X Factor?

Enough with Ms. Pussycat Doll’s pussy-footing around and Paula’s teary-eyed empathy. X Factor needed a kick in the butt to up its engrossment factor, and it just got it from an unlikely blonde, who I bet you thought would wimp out of the tough stuff.

Move Over, Simon Cowell, Britney Spears is X Factor’s New Nasty Judge

Not so. Britney Spears brought it. She sat deceivingly demure at that judges table, but when some drastically untalented contestant unleashed their vocal misery on the judges she just said it like it was.

‘X Factor’ Judges Bullying Contestants? — Demi Lovato Jumps To Their Defense

“You need a new teacher,” she told one poor guy. “To teach you how to sing.”

“I felt like I was listening to Alvin and the Chipmunks,” she told another contestant.

“I thought it was just kind of bad,” she advised a girl.

“I want to know who let you on stage,” she asked a delusional 50-year-old Sean Armenta, who rudely attacked the judges for using auto-tune like Demi and Britney.

Brit-Brit Tells It Like It Is

Let’s just say that Britney didn’t worry about letting contestants come down easy, and it was refreshing to just hear it straight.

Only when confronted by contestant Don Phillip, who she recognized immediately as a former duet partner, did she look first excited and then in real when pain when she heard his cracking voice.

She genuinely struggled to find a kind way to let him know that she couldn’t give him the thumbs up. “Your voice really isn’t up to the bar of the standards of The X Factor and what we want,” she finessed.

The Many Faces of Britney Spears, ‘X Factor’ Judge

And then there were her faces. You might have thought that after years in the spotlight, Britney would have been trained to self edit her facial expression as well as her words. Not a chance!

Britney’s unfiltered faces are just the best! She is incapable of a poker face and scrunched, frowned, rolled her eyes, practically stuck out her tongue, and opened her mouth in horror. She is completely amusing and mesmerizing.

She couldn’t be more the polar opposite of annoyingly self-aware Nicole and Paula last season.

Thanks to Brit, and to Demi Lovato, whose enthusiasm also feels honest, not phoney, X Factor is now as fun to watch for the judges performances as for the contestants.

Do you agree Hollywoodlifers? Is Brit your new favorite b***h?