Rob – we know that you are suffering right now. Your heart is broken and you don’t know what to do. Here’s why you should talk to Kristen,forget what other people say and consider giving your love another try.
There’s no way that you’re not still in love with her, just a little over a week after you found out that Kristen had betrayed you. How could you not be? You’ve loved her and been committed to her for over three years. You can’t lose or change your feelings that quickly.
That’s what is so incredibly awful about this situation; you’re furious, and even though you’re saying you don’t want to see her and talk to her, you REALLY DO!
She’s been a huge part of your life for many years. I bet you feel like she’s your best friend as well as your girlfriend. You had a life together, fun together, shared interests, passions and jokes together; and a dog together.
Three years, especially when you’re in your early twenties, is a big deal! It’s not nothing. Kristen started falling for you, Rob, when she was only 18 — you guys grew up together. Plus, you balanced each other’s superstar statuses with your laid-back attitudes.You have a shared history of experiences.
You really have to consider whether you want to walk away from all that, because Kristen apparently doesn’t want to. She is reportedly depressed, inconsolable, guilt-ridden and desperate to get through this awful crisis and be together.
Despite her infidelity, she has publicly declared that she loves you. She called you “the person I love and respect the most.” And I don’t think she’s faking that. I’m sure she means it.
The bottom line is, Rob, Kristen is very young and she made a mistake. Maybe she was flattered by the attention of an older man she respected and she got carried away.
What she did was wrong, but she didn’t mean to hurt you. She didn’t want you to know about her mistake. She never planned to end her relationship with you. She wants to be with you.
If you talk to relationship counselors they will tell you that many relationships DO survive a cheating episode and yours can too if Kristen is sincere about her re-commitment to you and your love together.
“I believe that everyone deserves a second chance and I would hate to see this young couple throw away true love,” Dr. Ava Cadell, founder of Loveology University told HollywoodLife.com exclusively. “Communicating openly and honestly is the key to saving this relationship.”
Dr. Cadell, who has a doctorate in human behavior, believes that as heartbreaking as your wound is, it can be healed through trust.
The thing is, you have to talk to Kristen. Stop blocking her out and instead and start asking her all the questions that you want to have answered. As hard as it is for you to ask and her to answer, you have to do it. You do need to know what exactly happened between her and Rupert Sanders, and why she allowed it to happen. You need to ask her if she was unhappy in your relationship. You need to get these answers. Only then can you and she really decide if the two of you have a chance. She also HAS to sincerely want to be with you and to make it work.
” Rob will need to see Kristen show remorse and take responsibility for her actions. He’ll need to see her working to repair the relationship,” agrees Dr. Jenn Berman, host of Vh1′s Couple Therapy show.
Now, if she does that — then Rob, you need to get past the public humiliation aspect of all this.
Who cares what your friends or fans think? Who cares what your family thinks? This is YOUR life.
Rob, you can’t listen to the negative comments around you — you have to listen to your heart and think about what you really want.
If Kristen is your soulmate and you love the life you have together; if she makes you happy and supports you, then you can have that back.
I really bet that a huge part of your pain is that you can’t imagine life without Kristen. So reconsider — you don’t have to have a life without her, that is, if she confesses all to you and then you both agree to the terms of your relationship going forward. Yes, she knew you didn’t believe in cheating, but now she has learned her lesson, and the two of you can promise each other that neither of you will do it again.
Dr. Cadell actually suggests that you write a mutual love agreement together. “Both parties can express and negotiate their personal needs in a written format and hold each other accountable,” she advises.
However, if you two are to be happy together again you cannot throw her cheating in her face all the time. You can do it once or twice, in your free-for-all discussions, but then you have to put it behind you. If you bring it up all the time, you two will never be able to enjoy your renewed relationship.
Again, I know this is hard, but you are going to have to trust her again. That’s why you can only get back together if she is absolutely sure that she can commit.
If she swears she can and that she has learned from her awful mistake, you have to take her at her word.
Rob — do what is truly right for you, and if deep down, being with Kristen and rebuilding your relationship is what you want (forget everybody else’s opinion), and do it.
You don’t have to walk away from the woman you love.
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