Rob — the best way to mend a broken heart is to find a hot new girl to hook up with!
Rob, 26, should just be done with Kristen, 22 — after all, she hooked up with an older married guy! She obviously doesn’t care about either of her men or herself.
Unfortunately, Rob is crazy in love with his girlfriend and must be persuaded to move on. How can he do this? By hooking up with some sexy and eligible Hollywood hotties!
Think about it: you are one of the most lusted-after stars in the world and can totally have whatever woman you choose. At this point, you’ll have to just forget about K-Stew by reminding yourself how much fun it is to hook up with girls. Find new love without nearly as much baggage!
Let’s face it: the world knows that you’re a super-sensitive guy who looks for deep emotion in relationships. But you were just burned SO BAD. You’re allowed to blow off some steam — why don’t you do it with some sexy chicks? There’s no better way to move on from a cheater.
Ultimately, you should remember the immortal words of Denny (Patrick O’Neill) from the 1989 classic Say Anything: “Man, all you gotta do is find a girl that looks just like her, nail her, and then dump her, man. Get her of your mind.”
Dump her, indeed.
Do YOU think Rob should hook up with some new people and move on from K-Stew, HollywoodLifers?
– William Earl
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