Katie – Marriage is NOT a fairy tale. And just because you have crushed on someone since you were a teenager doesn’t mean you should marry them when they’re a devoted Scientologist and you’re not.

Katie Holmes – when you filed for divorce from Tom Cruise you just became another real-life example of what NOT to do when choosing a life mate.

Tom Cruise may have been – and still is – a handsome, rich superstar and a gorgeous guy who starred in your Top Gun bedroom poster, but you and all the women out there have to marry the real man and not a fictionalized man of your dreams.

As dull as it sounds, it is totally true that you must marry a man who shares your same life goals and values, and the two of you have to have common interests that you both enjoy.

That doesn’t mean that you have to come from the same ethnic background, have the same skin color, or even be a member of the same religion. Lots of people have happy, successful and long-term marriages even if their backgrounds are diverse.

But, you have to be on the same page when it comes to the most important guiding principles of your life.

And Katie, in this case, the man you married was a very devoted member of an extremely demanding and possessive religion – Scientology. And Scientology has some very strange beliefs. So much so that many people are convinced that it’s a cult.

On the other hand, you Katie are a Catholic, raised by parents who are devoted Catholics.

There was no way when you finally realized that you couldn’t become a fervent Scientologist devotee or have your daughter become indoctrinated into Scientology, that your marriage could last.

You should have paid attention to Nicole Kidman‘s marital experience with Tom. Not only did their union end up in a nasty divorce but it appears that Nicole basically lost the two children she adopted with Tom. Tom got custody, and her two kids also became devoted Scientologists who she is rarely seen with.

You never should have rushed into marriage and motherhood; getting engaged after 2 months of dating and then pregnant shortly after that.

So Hollywoodlifers, learn from Katie Holmes’ mistake. No matter how glamorous, sexy and powerful a man may seem, he’s not Mr. Right unless you and he see eye to eye on how you want to live, where you want to live, whether you want to have children, how you want to raise them, whether you will be a two or one-career marriage and more.

Kim Kardashian, Sandra Bullock, Elin Woods, Britney Spears, Halle Berry, Heidi Klum and Jennifer Aniston all made the mistake of marrying a man who turned out to be not what he seemed, at least to them. Kris Humphries was too traditional and religious for Kim, Jesse James and Tiger Woods turned out to be serial cheaters as was Halle’s, Eric Benet. Kevin Federline was too immature to handle Britney, Seal had anger issues and Brad Pitt was obsessed by architecture while it bored Jen to tears.

Now Tom was, and still is, a Scientologist and it took Katie almost 5 years to realize he’d never change and either she had to, or get out of the relationship.

So take it from these examples Hollywoodlifers and don’t race into marriage or marry an image and not the real man. Marriage is a serious commitment and you don’t want to end up like Katie filing for divorce and having to fight for the custody of your beloved daughter.

Bonnie Fuller

More on Tom and Katie

1. Katie Holmes & Tom Cruise Wore Wedding Rings Up Until Divorce Announcement
2. Tom Cruise & Katie Holmes Are Divorcing — It’s Official
3. Tom Cruise & Katie Holmes: Don’t Fight In Front Of Suri About Divorce Or It Could Scar Her — Experts