The dueling memorial services emphasize that the tragedy of Mary Kennedy’s suicide has wedged the two families even further apart. But what about the children? During this upsetting time, our expert says that in order to heal, the children need their family to come together.

A bitter battle is waging between Mary Kennedy‘s sisters and the Kennedy family, but the devastation they are feeling should not outweigh the plight of RFK Jr. and Mary’s four young children, our expert tells HollywoodLife.com exclusively.

“The adults’ decision to keep the memorial process separate is as tragic as the death itself. It, too, is a death of sorts for the children,” said Dr. Phil Dembo, family therapist and child expert. “Kids need safety, consistency, nurturing, and collaboration, regardless of the parents and adults agenda with one another. These kids need to feel a sense of family more than ever.”

The expert said the children — Aiden Caohman Vieques, William Finbar, Kyra LeMoyne, Conor Richardson, ages 11-17 — have lost their mother but now they will have to live through the “divorce” of their father from their mother’s surviving family members: “The pain here is huge, but the adults need to consider what is best for the children”

He adds that it’s the parents’ and adult family members’ responsibility to set their individual personal agenda aside, and provide the continuity and peace necessary for these children to heal.

“There is plenty of time, and ways for the parents to deal with one another,” said Dr. Dembo. “Right now…these kids need them to be their family!”

1. Robert F. Kennedy Jr. Not Invited To Mary Kennedy NYC Memorial
2. Robert F. Kennedy Jr. Says Mary Kennedy’s Suicide Was Not His Fault
3. Kerry Kennedy Calls Mary Kennedy An ‘Angel Claimed By Forces Of Evil’ At Funeral