Were you bummed by this week’s shocking death — or are you already numb to death in Westeros?
Now that Melisandre (Carice van Houten) and Stannis (Stephen Dillane) are proud parents, they’re watching with love as their unholy offspring reaches each of its milestones — and Game of Thrones‘ April 29 episode found them celebrating baby’s first murder! So who was the first one to suffer at the freakish shadowy claw of their spawn?
Why, it was poor Renly (Gethin Anthony). Shadow Baby crashed his meeting with Catelyn (Michelle Fairley) about forging the Stark and Baratheon armies, and honestly, he could not have been a less courteous guest. He disappeared shortly after gutting the antler-headed king, making Brienne (Gwendoline Christie) appear super guilty. Catelyn and Brienne bonded over their shared experience, and the former Mrs. Stark ended up unofficially adopting the gentle giant as her own daughter. It was kind of a beautiful moment.
But the real flood of emotions came from Renly’s secret lover Loras (Finn Jones), who’s determined to have Stannis’ head, and Renly’s widowed beard Margaery (Natalie Dormer), who’s determined to get a crown back on her head. But she doesn’t just want to be any old queen. “I want to be the queen,” she said. I know it’s messed up, but I kind of love how emotionally detached she is. She’s got her eyes on the prize, for sure.
While Catelyn and Brienne remained the only ones who saw Shadow Baby in action, exaggerated rumors of Renly’s death spread quickly throughout Westeros — eventually reaching the good, incestuous people of King’s Landing. But Tyrion (Peter Dinklage) was a bit preoccupied playing with his new pet, who revealed Cersei (Lena Headey) has been ordering the production of “wild fire,” an old Dothraki tool that gave them an impossible edge in battle. Tyrion, naturally, demanded control of all future wild fire; he’s definitely got something up his tiny little sleeve.
And speaking of the Dothraki, Daenerys (Emilia Clarke) is clearly enjoying her new life as HBIC of Qarth. Though she wants to go straight over to Westeros, dragons blazing, Jorah (Iain Glen) convinced her to bide her time and save her strength. I’m getting major love vibes from him towards Daenerys, which will really be awkward when he finds out Xaro Xhaon (Nonso Anozie) proposed to her this week.
Somehow, the most messed up story line belonged to Arya (Maisie Williams), whose life has sort of become like Aladdin’s. She’s now a poor servant, and she has a genie of sorts who grants her three deaths. See? I told you it was messed up. Jaqen (Tom Wlaschiha) asked the little Stark-let for three names of people she wants dead, which was bad news for Tickler, as the torture master ended up lifeless on the ground in the episode’s final moments. First wish granted!
FINAL DEATH COUNT: Four
FINAL BOOBS COUNT: Zero! (I know, I can’t believe it either.)
What did you think of this week’s turn of events? Were you bummed to see Renly go? Who do you think Shadow Baby will go after next? Drop your best theories in the comments section below!