'L.A. Complex' Series Premiere: Abortions, Strippers & More 'WTF' Moments

Tue, April 24, 2012 10:05pm EST by 13 Comments

Are you already addicted to ‘The L.A. Complex’? Trust me, the insanity has only just begun.

Every show on TV professes to feature countless “WTF” moments, but few are able to squeeze so many into a single hour as effortlessly as The L.A. Complex, which premiered April 24 on The CW. Real talk: When the main character gets an abortion, vomits on a piano and becomes a stripper all in the pilot episode, you’re in for an awesome ride.

The series premiere introduced viewers to the residents of the Deluxe Suites Motel, a Melrose Place-style complex whose inhabitants are as hot as the scandals they cook up. There’s Abby (Cassie Steele), a newbie actress who recently moved from Toronto; Connor (Jonathan Patrick Moore), the star of a new medical drama; Nick (Joe Dinicol), a “comedian” who’s as clueless about women as he is about comedy; Alicia (Chelan Simmons), a dancer by day and a stripper by night; Raquel (Jewel Staite), an “aging” actress who’s putting all her faith in one final project; and Tariq (Benjamin Charles Watson), a hip-hop assistant willing to do whatever it takes to make it in the music industry.

Now, please join me in counting down the four finest moments from tonight’s premiere:

1. Abby & Connor fall in love — over their first abortion:

After a beautiful, drunken night of roof-sex, Abby and Connor awoke to realize they made a big mistake. Several big mistakes, actually. Here’s word-for-word how their morning-after chat went down:

Abby: You wore a condom last night, right?
Connor: No.
Abby: Why the hell not?
Connor: You said you were on something.
Abby: Yeah, drugs!

Connor: I guess we should get one of those, you know, “morning after” things? … Come on, I’ll get you some breakfast, too!
Abby: Breakfast and an abortion pill? And they say there are no good guys in L.A.

2. Raquel’s racist rant:

Refusing to audition for a mom-role during a casting call, Raquel insisted the director let her audition for the best-friend part. After being told the best friend was meant for a black actress, Raquel spewed out the following rant — in a room full of black actresses:

“So you’re making the best friend black? That’s kind of a cliché, don’t you think? I mean, who has a black best friend, right? Like, in real life, if you’re trying to be all authentic. [To a black woman] Do you have a white best friend? Do any of you have a white best friend? No, right?”

(Smooth move, Raquel. Not at all racist.)

3. Abby vomits… everywhere:

After being evicted from her apartment and having to squat at the Luxe, Abby finally caught a lucky break by scoring an audition — but she quickly learned that auditions and abortions don’t mix. The Plan B pill made her super nauseous, and she ended up puking all over the piano.

Abby: I’m not contagious! I just took the Morning After pill, like, an hour ago.
Director: Abby, there’s an old saying in show business: When there’s vomit on the piano, it’s time to stop the audition.

Oh well, at least she sounded good!

4. Surprise! Alicia’s a stripper… and now so is Abby:

Abby was thrilled when Alicia told her she could get her an under-the-table job, but ended up getting more than she bargained for when she realized what Alicia really did for money. So how will Abby cut it as a stripper? You’ll find out next week.

And trust me, it’s good.

So what did you think of The L.A. Complex? Who’s your favorite character? Have you already made a home for it on your DVR? Drop your thoughts on my personal new addiction in the comments section below!

— Andy Swift