'The Bachelor: Women Tell All:' Courtney Robertson Called A 'Black Widow' & 'Liar' By Other Contestants

Tue, March 6, 2012 4:39am EDT by 18 Comments
Courtney Robertson Crying

Courtney tried to apologize to all the women she hurt on ‘The Bachelor.’ But, the women refused to accept her apology and called Courtney out for being a ‘stripper’ and heartless.

The Bachelor‘s “Women Tell All” special was so chalk full of entertaining, dramatic and outlandish events, it would be impossible for me to pick one and run with it. That said, here is my stream of consciousness as I watched the epic two hour event…

First things fist, The Bachelor reunion in Las Vegas looks epic. I’d pay to see the uncut footage from that night. One thing’s for sure, Ali Fedowtowsky and Frank definitely took their “connection” to a private room later that evening. Roberto Martinez, I hope you’re not watching this.

Now it’s time for the Blakeley Shea special. Overall, I’m disinterested in Blakeley, but can’t help but chuckle when she wisely proclaims to the girls, “I’m a lot older than you and I’m more mature than you.” Keep telling yourself that…

Chris Harrison just referred to the show as a “competition.” After all these years, has Mr. Host decided to call a spade a spade? See, Courtney Robertson knows what’s up. When will Kacie B. finally accept this is a GAME?

I don’t even remember Samantha, but she sure has a lot to say during the “tell all.” Her voice is one of the most annoying sounds I’ve ever heard and Brittany just validated my thoughts when she called Samantha the “house chihuahua.” These two girls had little relevance on the actual show, but they’re sure getting a lot of air time now.

It’s so ridiculous they are rehashing Shawntel Newton‘s crazy one night crash, or as Chris Harrison puts it, “the moment America’s been buzzing about.” I don’t know about you, but I had forgotten that’d even happened. Way to build it up before the commercial, Chris.

These girls sure bonded over their hatred for Courtney. It’s bizarre seeing Nicki and Kacie B. holding hands like they’re at a group therapy session. Also, I’m obsessed with Emily. Not only is she cute, she’s basically the only chick up there who can form a rational train of thought. She also cuts to the chase and doesn’t B.S. For example, when asked how she feels about Ben Flajnik probably picking Courtney, she admits, “He’s made his bed and he can lie in it.” Brilliant!

Up next it’s time for Kacie B. — the Sandra Bullock of The Bachelor — to shine. It was obvious the producers knocked themselves out trying to make her the front runner on the show, but sadly, Ben didn’t bite. Little Miss Ray of Sunshine only won over the hearts of America. Unfortunately, the last couple of times we’ve seen Kacie B., she’s had a hard time keeping the crazy in the box. Thankfully, she kept her tears and “what the f***!” moments at bay and seemed nice, cute and normal again. I hope she gets to be the Bachelorette one day…I’d trade her in a heartbeat with Emily Maynard.

(Side note: Why haven’t we heard from whacked out blogger Jenna? All we get is a little twitch in her crazy eyes when the cameras cut to her after someone mentions Courtney. I NEED MORE.)

Also, I’d always wondered what happened with Blakeley and Monica’s blossoming romance after the first night when they were practically making out in a corner. Fortunately, Monica just answered that question by yelling “Blakeley’s awesome!” like she had Tourettes after someone made a dig at her girl. (I rewinded that moment three times. By far the best of the show at this point.)

Ugh. Kacy (otherwise known as Paris Hilton) is defending Courtney. Just…stop. Please. Sit there and look pretty.

Oh, and what do you know? Courtney shows up in the flesh and the girls look like they want to stab her eyes out and then jump off cliffs. I don’t blame them. Kacie refers to Courtney as a “black widow.” Monica thinks that Courtney is “a liar, manipulative, hurtful and mean.” Blakeley calls a “stripper.” And, Emily questions if Courtney even has a heart.

“I have many regrets,” the slithery snake of a wench Courtney begins. “I’m disappointed in myself and how I acted and how I treated the women. Looking back, there are so many things I would have done differently.”

Yeah, sure. One reason I believe Courtney is full of crap is because she never actually cries. However, tonight she managed to eek out one tear drop down her right cheek. Well-played, Court — someone took an acting intensive before the “Tell All.”

Tear drop and all, I can’t get on the “forgive Courtney” band wagon and neither can the other girls. Even Chris admits Courtney isn’t going to be able to help her cause anymore and excuses her in order to bring out the man of the hour, Mr. Ben Flajnik himself. What a treat.

“Welcome to my nightmare,” he says, looking at all his scorned women — and I laugh. It’s probably the least lame thing he’s said in months on this show.

Personality aside, I can’t take my eyes off the mop on Ben’s head. All the women look amazing tonight, thanks to hair and makeup, so why couldn’t they fix Ben’s hair? Is there a rule that it must always be a frizzy disaster? Someone needs to help this poor man.

Overall, Ben doesn’t say anything ground-breaking. I would have enjoyed it more if he got down on his knees and started crying about his horrible decisions, but he kept it pretty locked up. Zzzzzz….

Watching the bloopers reel makes me so happy. Ben is dancing around like a nut most the time, which is something we’re never privy to seeing. Note to producers: Ben would be way more interesting to all of us if you unleashed his personality more. Who knew he is such an entertaining dancer?

Omg, THANK GOODNESS! Footage of psycho blogger Jenna makes the credits. I need a two hour special just on her and her breakdowns. And her showdown with Monica. Sooo good.

Well, friends. That’s a wrap! “The Women Tell All” special certainly didn’t disappoint, but Courtney’s desperate PR move to get sympathy didn’t work on me in the slightest. What did you think of the women telling all? Did you forgive Courtney for “winning”? Sound off below!

 

 

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More ‘Bachelor’ News:

  1. ‘Bachelor’ Shocker: Courtney Robertson Apologizes — ‘I Take It All Back’
  2. Kacie Boguskie: ‘It Wouldn’t Surprise Me’ If Ben Flajnik & Courtney Robertson Break Up
  3. ‘Bachelor’ Preview: Ben Flajnik’s Women Attack Courtney Robertson For Her Lies