‘Revenge’ returned from hiatus with a bang! (Sorry, I should have had a ‘bad joke’ disclaimer on this one.)
Musical Chairs. Pin the Tail on the Donkey. These are normal games you might expect to see played at a birthday party — but not one on Revenge. No, the Jan. 4 episode of ABC’s soap-fest introduced us a brand-new game called “Truth or Die,” which requires one Tyler (Ashton Holmes), one gun, and absolutely no medication. Needless to say, the guests weren’t exactly in the mood for cake and ice cream by the end of the night.
But let’s back up a bit: All this madness began when Emily (Emily VanCamp) discovered that the eyebrow-less weasel known as Tyler isn’t just acting crazy — he’s actually crazy. Like, medically diagnosed. Seeing this as an opportunity to manipulate Tyler into accomplishing one of her many vengeful goals, Emily stole his pills and hid a bullet-less gun exactly where she knew he’d find it when the time was right. What a clever girl that Emily is. Bitchy, but clever.
And speaking of bitchy-but-clever, Victoria (Madeleine Stowe) and Conrad (Henry Czerny) officially began their own war of the roses this week. They had their first divorce meeting with their lawyers, which mostly involved them sipping tea and calling each other names like “reprehensible” and “Victoria.” Little does Conrad know, his wife wasn’t exactly honest when she signed their pre-nup — so his wallet had better prepare for a world of hurt.
After making a pit stop at Nolan’s (Gabriel Mann) house to knife him in the arm, Tyler was off to crash Daniel’s (Josh Bowman) birthday party — as if Victoria wasn’t miserable enough that Emily was throwing her son a friggin’ clambake party. They’re Graysons, not savages, for God’s sake!
But the party ended disappointingly when Nolan showed up with Tyler’s brother and had him taken off to jail. After all that build up, I was hoping someone would at least get shot. If that crazy bitch Lydia survived falling off a roof and onto a car, I’m pretty sure one of them could live through a bullet wound.
OK, let’s get a little messed up: Tell me which of Daniel’s party guests you WISH Tyler had shot. Drop your top names in the comments section below!