'Once Upon A Time' Recap: Regina Kills… Someone Beautiful

Sun, December 11, 2011 11:59pm EST by 38 Comments

We’ve known this tragic death was coming, but nothing could have prepared me for it. I ugly-cried so hard.

I hate being right — especially when it means devastatingly handsome law enforcement officials have to die. But that’s exactly what happened on the Dec. 11 episode of Once Upon A Time. Join me in mourning, won’t you?

Let me begin by saying that if everyone on this show was able to put the pieces together as quickly as Sheriff Graham (Jamie Dornan) did, the series would already be over. One drunken kiss with Emma (Jennifer Morrison) and his head was filled with memories of his fairy tale life — as the huntsman! He remembered being hired by the Evil Queen (Lana Parrilla), he remembered letting Snow White (Ginnifer Goodwin) live, and he remembered the Queen stealing his heart as punishment.

Come to think of it, Regina being in possession of Graham’s heart clears up quite a few of my questions: Like why he was so emotionally detached when it came to women — and why he kept sleeping with her, despite her being cold in bed. But I digress…

The same wolf that caused Emma to crash her car in the pilot also appeared to Graham in a dream, eventually leading him and Emma to the mausoleum where he believed Regina was keeping his heart. And even though Regina showed up to spoil their big discovery, the evening wasn’t a total bust, because it led to one of my favorite things in the world: GIRL FIGHT!

Regina started things off with a sucker punch, followed by an impressive left hook from Emma. More punching followed, but I was too wrapped up in boyish delight to recall the gory details. The fight ended with Graham finally telling Regina off, and leaving her to be with Emma.

Sadly, their happy ending wasn’t to be. When Regina came over to the real world, she brought her gross little collection of hearts with her — and she just happened to hide them under the mausoleum. So while Graham and Emma were back at the station, reveling in each other’s beauty, Regina retrieved Graham’s heart and squeezed it… to death.

Graham’s lifeless body hit the floor, followed by Emma’s sobs, and the the screams (well, make that tweets) of million of fans watching at home. It was a devastating way to wrap up the first part of season one, but it also solidified two very important things about Once Upon A Time:

1. No one is safe.
2. Regina Mills is an evil, evil bitch.

Since we’ve got a few weeks until new episodes return, let’s pass the time with some mindless theorizing: What was the big secret the Queen told Snow White that caused their feud? And who else’s heart does Regina have in her little collection? 

— Andy Swift

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