TLC's 'Virgin Diaries' Was Equal Parts Embarrassing & Awesome

Mon, December 5, 2011 9:12am EST by 10 Comments

Do you want to see more hilarious ‘Virgin Diaries?’ One hour was simply not enough for us!

TLC’s Virgin Diaries may have been short on sex, but thank God it wasn’t short on awkwardness. The Dec. 4 special gave us a peek into the lives of several people who agreed to abstain from any sexual activity before marriage, and while we’d obviously never criticize them for that decision, we will say it probably wasn’t the smartest idea to broadcast their first encounters on national television.

We were first introduced to a trio of best friends — Lisa, 30, Danielle, 29, and Tamara, 30 — who were so proud of being virgins that they even liked to get together and sing about their decision. But there was something off about their little song… and I’m not just talking about the pitch. Or the harmony. Or the melody. It turns out, one of them wasn’t really a virgin! Tamara described herself as a “reclaimed” virgin, which means she has had sex — many many times, actually — but has decided to wipe her slate clean. Because that’s something you can just do.

Then there was 35-year-old Carey, the only member of the cast who did not choose to remain a virgin — though he probably should have pretended it was a choice, because that would have made his tale way less embarrassing. It was also would have been better if he didn’t immediately admit to being a virgin while on a date. Here’s a tip for Carey: “I’m not very experienced with women” is not the best pick-up line. In fact, it works… about zero percent of the time.

But my favorite couple of the evening, hands down, was Ryan and Shanna, who refused to even kiss before tying the knot. They talked about kissing many times — often while riding the seesaw and giggling like manic toddlers — but it wasn’t until their wedding day that the big kiss finally came. And, oh boy, did it come. The minister probably should have said, “You may now devour the bride,” because Ryan literally attacked Shanna’s face like a snake feasting on a defenseless woodland creature. Their families, as well as the millions of viewers at home, watched in slack-jawed horror as the deed went down.

Some things can never be unseen. And because I don’t like to suffer alone, here’s a clip of Ryan and Shanna’s de-flowering:

Plus, click here for a complete photo breakdown of the super-awkward smooch!

— Andy Swift

Follow Andy on Twitter to share in his Virgin Diaries horror

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Posted at 8:00 PM on December 6, 2011  

Virtuous Living is Back by Popular Demand !

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Jacklyn Huss

Posted at 5:06 PM on December 5, 2011  

Oh man this show was very awkward to watch lol that kiss at the wedding was VERY strange and she looked like she was going to suck his face off lol.

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Posted at 12:56 PM on December 5, 2011  

Wow!! When I saw the commercial I thought for sure it was a “joke” kiss…But CLEARLY not after watching the show! It was horrible and disgusting!! Waiting for marriage for sex..I can understand. But kissing?? WTF!! I think TLC should buy those two some sort of sex therapy or something to figure out WTF they are doing..I can only imagine the wedding night! EWWW

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Posted at 11:56 AM on December 5, 2011  

Yeah, I don’t know where these two ever saw other people kissing this way but my Lord was that disgusting. My very first kiss at 13 wasn’t even that bad. Well it wasn’t bad at all. And the noises she was making made me want to throw up. Can you imagine what the sex was like. Barf..

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Posted at 11:47 AM on December 5, 2011  

I had my jaw open in SHOCK! WTF is wrong with these people? they seem to have the mentality of 14 yr olds. Nothing wrong with staying a virgin but I think these days u need to test drive the car before u buy. U never know if it’ll be good, some guys cant perform at all.. its scarey to think u marry someone now youre stuck with a sexless life possibly? I never saw this show.. now I know why. Terrible.

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Hi From Canada

Posted at 10:41 AM on December 5, 2011  

I saw them kiss and I felt so embarrassed for them that I couldn’t even watch the whole episode :/

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Tom B.

Posted at 9:46 AM on December 5, 2011  

I doubt the bachelor guy WANTED to admit to being inexperienced to his blind date – the producers no doubt needed that as part of the show. Also, the editing probably made it appear to happen right away, but they were clearly eating dessert at the time.

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Jack Smalls

Posted at 9:34 AM on December 5, 2011  

Do you have ANY original thoughts? Most of your article, and I use that term very lightly, was stolen from Ellen’s monologue. Get a life.

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Andy Swift

Posted at 9:41 AM on December 5, 2011  

Haha what? Sorry, I don’t watch Ellen.

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Posted at 9:19 AM on December 5, 2011  

This show was both creepy and fascinating at the same time!!

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