'90210' Recap: Teddy's Wedding Leads To Gambling, Hookups & Billy Ray Cyrus!

Tue, November 8, 2011 9:58pm EDT by 6 Comments
90210 4x08

But the question is: Which couple had hotter chemistry, Teddy and Shane… or Liam and Vinny from ‘Jersey Shore?’

The gang left Beverly Hills behind and got the full Vegas experience on the Nov. 8 episode of 90210, complete with gambling, partying — and an Elvis-officiated wedding that everyone involved will immediately regret. Oddly enough, though, this was the first episode in a few weeks where Annie (Shenae Grimes) didn’t do any prostitute-ing. So I guess they didn’t get the full Vegas experience.

The whole trip was part of a brilliant plan hatched by Naomi (AnnaLynne McCord) to spend time with Austin (Justin Deeley) on his birthday, but she got more than she bargained for when she met his country music superstar dad, played by Billy Ray Cyrus. And while Billy Ray didn’t bring quite as many Hanna Montana-style shenanigans to the episode as I’d hoped, Naomi did end up putting on a big blonde wig and singing. So I consider my wish half-granted.

Meanwhile, Dixon (Tristan Wilds) and Adrianna’s (Jessica Lowndes) relationship went from zero to hot-nasty-sex as she continued to help him fight his crippling addiction to ADHD medication. Annie bitched Adrianna out for not mentioning her brother’s problem sooner — and if you think she’s being judgmental now, just wait until she has to send Dixon to rehab for his impending sex addiction. You know that’ll happen. Dude could get addicted to lollipops if he had access to them.

And before you offer your congratulations to “newlyweds” Teddy (Trevor Donovan) and Shane (Ryan Rottman), their much-hyped wedding turned out to be merely symbolic. It was just another way for Teddy to accept the idea of sharing his life with another guy. And as much as I think Teddy and Shane make a good couple, I’m not getting my hopes up too high. Given Teddy’s track record, Shane will soon disappear into whichever dimension swallowed up Ian and Marco. (Actually, I wouldn’t mind going there sometime. That’s a hot dimension.)

But believe it or not, Teddy and Shane’s mock same-sex wedding wasn’t the gayest part of tonight’s episode. That very special honor went to guest star Vinny Guadagnino for his string of inadvertently homoerotic one-liners to Liam: “That’s an impressive body” and “I hope you brought a fat stack with you, bro.”

Vinny was actually referring to a high-stakes game of poker, and as it turns out, Liam (Matt Lanter) has a pretty weak poker face — even with that enchanted forest of bangs to shield his eyes from the competition. He lost many dollars to Vinny, which pretty much means he’ll have to burn his entire wardrobe and spend the rest of his life modeling that torso. Bummer.

Workaholic Silver (Jessica Stroup) was basically chained to her laptop for the entire episode — who knew Moesha would be such a demanding boss? — and her intense multi-tasking had serious consequences. She accidentally attached the video of Teddy and Marco’s “wedding” in an e-mail, which is sure to make for some pretty strong ammo against Moesha’s conservative competition.

What happens in Vegas… should probably stay in Vegas.

— Andy Swift

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