Of course, there’s still one issue even Emily can’t figure out: Team Daniel or Team Jack?
Emily Thorne (Emily VanCamp) literally played mind games on the Oct. 12 episode of ABC’s Revenge, as she aimed her red Sharpie of death at the Hamptons’ über psychiatrist Dr. Michelle Banks (Amy Landecker) — the vurry same woman responsible for keeping her locked away in a mental institution as a child. So, you know, they’ve got history.
This week’s genius plot involved sabotaging Victoria Grayson’s (Madeleine Stowe) tea benefit by airing a series of candid conversations from Dr. Banks’ private sessions, via the phenomenal website HamptonsExposed.com. (That’s a totally real website, by the way. Well done, ABC. I’m a sucker for viral shenanigans.) Among the juiciest secrets revealed was Victoria’s shocking confession that she wishes she never had a second child — aka Charlotte (Christa B. Allen), who was also in attendance.
As Victoria bellowed insane threats at Dr. Banks — the phrases “I will destroy you” and “I will ruin you” were thrown out with Shakespearean intensity — I honestly expected the skies to open up, giving way to one of God’s many plagues. Honestly, any of them. Frogs, locusts, take your pick.
Daniel’s (Joshua Bowman) weasely little friend from Harvard stirred up some trouble this week as well, getting Daniel totally wasted while managing to stay “sober as a judge,” himself. Methinks this was less about ruining Daniel now, and more about setting him up for another disaster down the road. I’m thinking something along the lines of last summer’s little car accident.
Of course, I’d be remiss if I didn’t also discuss the ongoing battle between Team Daniel and Team Jack (Nick Wechsler.) While Jack and Emily did share a romantic moment at her house this week — big ups to Sammy, the match-making wonder dog — I still can’t shake my Team Daniel pride. After all, while he may have gotten schwasted and hooked up with a random Hamptons skank, Daniel was only acting out of sadness. If he hadn’t seen Emily with Jack, this whole thing never would have happened.
Daniel’s not bad, you guys. He’s just full of emotions.