Horrors! The RHOBHs had to keep pushing their dropped jaws closed after new Housewife Brandi got vulgar and Dana bragged endlessly about her $25,000 sunglasses and genius baby!
You would think that Kyle Richards was a model of perfection listening to her snipe at Brandi Glanville and roll her eyes after Brandi laughs off the misbehavior of her six-year-old, Jake, peeing on Adrienne’s lawn at her elegant pool party.
“Well, it’s better that he didn’t do it IN the pool,” points out the practical Brandi to Kyle, who is not impressed. “I mean hello, it’s parenting 101 — you don’t just whip out your penis and pee on the grass,” Kyle pronounces. “She didn’t even reprimand her son,” she gasps!
Maybe Brandi was too busy getting ready to stick her foot in her mouth several times, much to Camille, Dana, Kyle and Adrienne‘s shock and snooty amusement.
When Camille announces as they eat that “my mom used to say to me — ‘big hands, big feet, big disappointment … I was married to that,’” Brandi blurts out that Camille is referring to a man’s “c**k.”
Kyle, offended again, announces that Brandi is “tacky,” and Brandi shoots back at the other Housewives — “I just get the feeling that you think I’m a superslut,” which prompts Kyle to lay into her again. “I didn’t think you were a slut before, but I do now!”
Housewife Dana Wilkey joins in the Brandi-hating after she shares that her fiance, John Flynn, who she’ll marry in a hummungous wedding next summer, is traveling all the time.
Foot-in-her-mouth Brandi blurts out “he’s got girls all over the country,” which goes over like a lead balloon with Dana.
But Brandi could care less. “You’ll all get over what I say. Apparently I’m a little obnoxious, take it or leave it,” she proclaims.
Yes, you are Brandi! You’re more than a little obnoxious! You’re a lot obnoxious, I say, but you keep RHOBH lively.
As does repeat braggart and showoff events planner Dana Wilkey, who walks around Adrienne’s party telling absolutely everyone who’ll listen that she’s wearing $25,000 sunglasses inlaid with 4 karat diamonds and gold python.
Big mouth Kyle says she thinks $25,000 sunglasses are ASININE, which of course they are. “I wouldn’t spend $25,000 on sunglasses. Most people that have a lot of money don’t brag about it …They keep it to themselves,” scoffs Camille, as if she isn’t new to being super rich herself. I mean, was she Old Money before she married ex-husband Kelsey Grammer? I don’t think so!
Of course, Dana already had Kyle’s perfectly straight nose out of joint when she invited her to lunch with Taylor and told the ladies that her 18 month-old son, John Cayden could read, speak Thai, takes pilates, and that she’s giving him “encyclopedia training.”
We did catch a view of this genius baby toddling around in diapers at Adrienne’s party as he tried to climb into a baby pool and there was absolutely NO evidence of his extraordinary abilities!
Meanwhile, poor Taylor Armstrong ooked like a skeletal wraith wandering through the episode while the other wives worried that she wasn’t eating.
But I do wonder if hard-hearted Lisa Vanderpump has any regrets after coolly telling Kyle that “I’m not going to masquerade as her BFF. I’m not going to compromise what I believe (whatever that is) just because she’s in trouble.”
Whoa! Taylor was in far more trouble than you ever imagined, Lisa! And now you have to see yourself being nasty about her on national TV. That must be tough.
Or is it? After all, you’re a RHOBH!