'The Vampire Diaries' Season Premiere Recap: Damon Suffers A Loss & Stefan Blood-Drunk Dials Elena!

Thu, September 15, 2011 10:34pm EDT by 10 Comments

‘The Vampire Diaries’ season premiere went straight for the jugular. Did it successfully convert you over to Team Stefan?

Considering Stefan (Paul Wesley) is now in full-on Ripper mode, I was sure the third season of The Vampire Diaries would be all about Elena (Nina Dobrev) and Damon (Ian Somerhalder) giving into their sweet, nasty passions. But man, was I wrong! The Sept. 15 season premiere was loaded with enough Stefan-Elena moments to convert my Delena-shipping heart. Well… almost.

The episode began, as expected, with Klaus (Joseph Morgan) and his new bestie Stefan literally killing their way up and down the Eastern Seaboard. Apparently they don’t call Stefan “the Ripper” for nothing. He straight-up rips people’s body parts off, then feels guilty and tries to re-assemble them like they’re freakin’ Sally from The Nightmare Before Christmas. It’s kind of hot.

Back in Mystic Falls, Caroline (Candice Accola) threw Elena a bitchin’ 18th birthday kegger to help get her mind off of her M.I.A. boyfriend. But sweet baby vamp Caroline had her own relationship drama to deal with, as her feelings for Tyler (Michael Trevino) were intensifying, and Matt (Zach Roerig) continued to pine for her from a distance.

Jeremy (Steven R. McQueen) — who appears to have spent all summer at the gym — remained haunted by the ghosts of Anna (Malese Jow) and Vicki (Kayla Ewell), who we heard utter “help me” before a clueless Matt entered the frame and sat on her. But when Jeremy wasn’t playing Ghost Whisperer — move the eff over, Jennifer Love Hewitt — he was getting stoned with his new BFF. (And honestly, even if you’ve never smoked a joint once in your life, don’t tell me you wouldn’t love to light one up with Matt and Jeremy.)

While the Mystic Falls gang got its party on, Klaus and Stefan played a nasty game of darts with a werewolf named Ray Sutton (David Gallagher) so he would tell them the whereabouts of his pack. When he refused to comply, Klaus forced Ray to nom on his blood, then killed him, effectively turning him into — you guessed it — a hybrid! (Seriously, was anyone else totally disturbed watching Simon Camden bleeding and tied to a pool table? Happy have mercy on us all!)

Now here’s the part that really got to me: In an attempt to shake Damon off their backs, Klaus and Stefan returned to Mystic Falls and compelled ace reporter Andie Star (Dawn Olivieri) to jump off a high platform at the local news studio. Damon helplessly watched as his fake/compelled girlfriend lept to her untimely death. Honestly, I’m mostly pissed that she’s dead because now I won’t be able to pretend Damon talks to me through the TV. (He says “Andie,” but I hear “Andy.”)

While Damon broke some chairs in a fit of rage, a super-emotional Stefan decided to give Elena a call. But he couldn’t bring himself to talk to her, so he was forced to stand there while she poured her heart out to the silence. She cried, he cried, and you know what? I almost did, too. “Stelena” fans, this season is still yours — for now!

The episode ended, just as last season premiere’s did, with a tweet-worthy twist: When Caroline tried to sneak out of Chez Lockwood — apparently vampires are also familiar with the walk of shame — she was confronted by Tyler’s mom (Susan Walters), who shot her with tranquilizer darts! Possibly filled with vervain! Damn you Carol Lockwood and your beautiful blue eyes of death!

P.S. Where the heck was Bonnie (Kat Graham)?

OK, now YOU talk: What did you think of tonight’s big premiere? Was that heart-wrenching moment between Elena and Stefan enough to make you think they actually belong together?

— Andy Swift

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