The illness tore her marriage apart and during her darkest days she admits she contemplated killing herself.
In a new interview, Kendra Wilkinson reveals how her love and devotion to baby son Hank Jr. convinced her she needed to seek help.The 26-year-old suffered long bouts of depression during high school and was even hospitalized twice after harming herself.
Kendra reveals how she relapsed after relocating to Indiana in 2009 with NFL star husband Hank Baskett, 29.
After Hank Jr. was born in December 2009, Kendra felt increasingly isolated, thousands of miles away from her family and friends, and depression started to take root.
“I felt devastated, helpless — like I was in a black hole,” she tells In Touch.
“I was a mess and a wreck. I felt like nobody cared about me any more.”
And that’s when she started to self-destruct. The former Playboy pin-up now felt so ugly she couldn’t bear to look in the mirror.
“I had so much anger inside. I even thought of harming myself,” she explains.
“I just threatened (suicide) a lot. I felt like that was my only way to get to Hank and to show it.”
“There were times when I knew I was about to snap. I’d be like, ‘Hank, go! Go away!’ I didn’t feel right. Hank would take the baby and leave the room.”
Other times she would provoke violent fights with Hank and threaten to take baby Hank away from him.
“There was a point where I didn’t think we’d make it. I took off my wedding ring a couple of times,” she tells Life & Style in a separate interview, to promote her new book Being Kendra: Cribs, Cocktails & Getting My Sexy Back.
But it was Hank Jr. who inspired Kendra to fix herself and her relationship with Hank.
“I’ve learned that I need therapy because I’m not 100 percent better,” she says.
“Baby Hank made me stop, step back and realize if I don’t stop acting like this, he’s going to pick up on it.”
And the therapy is working. Kendra reveals, “I feel great. I’m going to live my life happy.”
Did you suffer PPD, HollyMoms? Share your stories with us.
– Ian Garland
More Kendra Stories:
kendra
Posted at 2:48 PM on September 28, 2011
i felt tje same after having my daughter i was an very in shape girl and after having her i felt sad all the time and ugly and it didnt help that my bf i was with for four years was cheating on me while i was in the hospital. but when i got my shape back i was ok for the most part. but i think all motyhers should see a theripst after having a child i didnt but i think it would have helped alot